“And would you be saying this if Stephen and I were dating?”
“Hell no. I have some dignity left,” he says seriously, then flashes a smirk.
I smile, unsure of where we go from here. “Is your offer to make a late dinner still on the table?”
“Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”
“So I admitted how long I’ve liked you. I think it’s your turn,” Connor states as he whips eggs in a bowl. After we arrived at his house, he gave me a quick tour before leading me to the kitchen.
I shake my head as he cooks. “Hmm. No. I don’t think so.”
He narrows his eyes. “Why not? It’s a fair trade.”
“Because it’s embarrassing.”
“Well, now you gotta tell me.”
I roll my eyes, reluctantly giving in. “Fine, but no laughing.”
“I didn’t agree to that.”
“Then forget it.”
“Alright, alright. I won’t.”
I suck in a breath and prepare for the humiliation. “I was fourteen when I met you for the first time, and well…it was then.”
His eyes widen, then he blinks a few times. “Fourteen?”
I nod.
“You can’t know what you feel at fourteen,” he counters.
Looking up at him, I shrug. “Well, I knew I felt something, and then again when I entered your office for my interview. There was one time I thought maybe you did too. But I was reminded how stupid I was to think that when you acted like your douchebag self.”
“Oh come on.” He grabs the milk from the fridge, then the bread. “Tell me when you thought that.”
“The night you showed up at the club.”
“Yeah, let’s call that having liquid courage and feeling like a total ass after. Would you believe me if I said I wanted to drag you to my hotel room and show you exactly how I felt?”
He says it so casually, yet my entire body feels like it’s on fire. I wished he would have.
“Probably not, but then again, you were drunk.”
“Tipsy,” he counters, and I snort.
Wanting to help as he prepares the French toast, I walk over to his spice rack and look for the cinnamon. “Call it what you want, but when I fell on you, you held me as if you didn’t want to let go. I thought you were going to kiss me that night, but then you snapped me back into my place when you scolded me for working there.”
“Having you quit was the only option. You barely had any clothes on, and I didn’t want other men looking at you,” he says in a serious tone.
I hand him the jar as our stare intensifies.
“I still don’t.” He sets it on the counter and stops preparing our food.
“Show me,” I whisper. “Show me how you feel.” I need more than just his words.
He swallows hard as if he’s fighting an internal battle, not moving or speaking.
“You’re stubborn,” I tell him. “And selfish.”
“Excuse me?” He arches a brow.
“You don’t want me around other men, but you don’t make an effort to be with me. So you want me single and at your mercy, ready to do whatever you ask of me, without any of the relationship stuff. I think that’s the definition of selfish.”
“It’s not like that.” He steps closer. “I’m your boss. I have a child and a business to run. It’s a lot to deal with, Elizabeth. Also, I didn’t want you around those men at that club because they gawked at you like a piece of meat. I didn’t like Stephen being around you because he’s a horrible person and would’ve hurt you. Perhaps if you made better choices, I wouldn’t have to act like a caveman to protect you.”
“Better choices?” I gawk. “Now you sound like my father. I don’t need you to protect me.”
“I beg to differ.”
My blood boils. “God. You’re so damn arrogant.”
“I’m older, I have more life and work experience than you, and I have bigger risks. So if you think that’s being selfish and arrogant, then fine, but it’s not because I want to keep you from dating. It’s because I know you deserve better. Better than that club, better than Stephen, and most definitely better than me.”
His words hurt, and it feels like he’s twisting a knife into my heart. This roller-coaster ride we’re on is giving me whiplash.
“Why? Because you have a past? Who doesn’t.”
“A past that has made me have trust issues. I build walls around myself to avoid getting hurt again. I can’t erase what’s happened, and you shouldn’t have to deal with my personal issues. No matter how I felt, I always knew you deserved someone who loves as easily as you do. You’re compassionate, loyal, smart, funny, gorgeous—the whole goddamn package. And I’m a broken, jaded asshole.”
“You’re right, you are,” I confirm, and it’s clear by his expression that he hadn’t expected me to agree with him. “And despite the issues you consider flaws, I still wanted you. Learning you had a daughter made me like you even more. Then seeing you with her, I was a goner. I don’t fully understand our connection, but it’s there, and it’s more than surface deep. I’ve always wanted all of you, and with that comes your past, the good, the bad, and even the hard things. The least you could do is give us a chance...”