I looked down at my feet, ashamed because he was right. “Tell me the truth, Killian. Would you have wanted me to terminate this pregnancy if you knew of the risks?”
“Yes,” he deadpanned.
I flinched at his quick because he didn’t even pause to think. “And there’s your answer as to why I didn’t tell you.”
The triplets were my miracle babies and I couldn’t bear to lose them, not like this. Not when I knew I was strong enough to give birth to them. And especially not when my last pregnancy ended with a miscarriage.
“You’re a maddening woman!” Killian barked. His arm snaked out sharply and he gripped my bicep, shaking me. My gaze snapped to his and he was glaring down at me. “Listen to me carefully because I’m only going to say this once. Yes, I would have rather you terminate the pregnancy because I don’t want to risk losing you. But if you wanted to have our babies, I would have never forced to have an abortion.”
I started to speak but he cut me off. “Where is the trust in this marriage, Julianna? Don’t you trust me?”
“I trust you,” I whispered.
He released my arm, but curled his hand behind my neck instead. “Liar,” he hissed.
I let out a cry. “I’m sorry.” I pressed my body closer to him, seeking out his warmth and he didn’t push me away. I stroke my hand over his chest and he shuddered under my touch. “I was scared.”
He squeezed his eyes at my choice of words. “And that’s the exact reason why you should have told me. You wouldn’t have to carry this burden alone.”
Another thunder rolled through the sky, this one roaring with a promise of rain.
“I swear I was going to tell you.”
His gaze landed on mine again and his brow furrowed. “When?”
“Soon. Next week, at our doctor’s appointment.”
When he didn’t respond to that, my heart dropped. “Don’t hate me,” I pleaded with Killian.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The sky opened up and the rain come down hard on, drenching both of us. But neither of us moved.
His eyes darkened, thunderous and pained. His fingers tightened in my hair before wrapping my ponytail around his fist, tugging my head back. I let out a choked sob when I realized that I was hurting us again. The rain washed away my tears.
Killian lowered his head and his lips brushed against mine, tenderly. “I can’t lose you again.”
“You won’t,” I promised into the kiss. He stole my breath from my lungs, kissing me hard before pulling away.
“Doctor Pearl have been monitoring me closely,” I explained, breathlessly. “I’m healthy. The babies are healthy. I haven’t had a single seizure during my pregnancy. My blood pressure is somewhat stable and I’ve practically put myself on bed rest.”
“I wish you had told me,” he rasped, his voice raw and harsh.
I sniffled. “Me too. Are you still mad?”
“Yes.”
“Do you hate me now?”
Killian dropped his forehead against mine. There was tenderness in his gaze now and my heart swelled in relief. “I can’t ever hate you, Princess. No matter how angry you make me.”
He swept me up in his arms and carried us back inside, away from the thunder and safe from the rain. “Don’t lie to me again, Julianna. No more secrets. And I’m serious this time. You have to trust me with your worst news and I have to trust you to tell me when things are not good.”
“No more secrets,” I breathed.
CHAPTER SIX
Julianna
One week later
The world tilted suddenly. It happened so fast and then I heard her fearful scream. My heart stopped for a second and then it was all agony, before I sunk into a very dark place.
I couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t see; couldn’t feel.
I tried to make a sound, but it felt like my lips were stitched together. I couldn’t breathe…
Couldn’t breathe… help me. Please. Help.
“Julianna.
I heard my name but I couldn’t make out who was calling out to me. It was too dark for me to see.
“Julianna.”
Yes, I tried to respond. But I was voiceless.
“It hurts,” the voice echoed.
The taste of coppery blood filled my mouth and I gagged.
“Julianna. Julianna. Julianna.”
My name was called out, again and again. Until my ears bled from the ominous voice.
“I’m scared.”
I was too.
And I finally remembered…
Her screams.
The sound of my bones breaking.
My cries.
The sound of crushing glass.
Her stuttering breath.
And I remembered the silence.
I blinked and the darkness disappeared, replaced by a bloody Gracelynn. Her dead eyes cold and wide. Her mangled face.
I heard her voice, even though her body was too still. She wasn’t breathing.
“Julianna.”
“Gracelynn,” I cried.
The pungent scent of death filled my nose and I gagged again, fighting back the urge to retch.
“Why did you leave me?” the quiet voice accused.
“I didn’t!”
“Why didn’t you save me?”
Agony flicked through my veins. The pressure on my chest was unbearable. “I couldn’t.”