My neck cranes back as his wet lips suck down my neck, and I pray he leaves hickeys on me like he used to, when we used to mark each other and everyone at school would know just how madly in love we were. It would stop Everly asking me why she hasn’t seen Anders around me anymore, why I’ve stopped talking about him, gushing like I used to. It would stop all those girls from looking at him, if they see he’s still mine and I’m still his.
I open my eyes to the stars and his mouth is at my breast, freed from the bikini top and I’m wrapping my legs around his waist while he pushes my bottoms aside.
I’ve never wanted him, needed him, more.
He whispers something in Norwegian, voice raspy, and I gasp loudly as he pushes himself inside. The water makes the friction feel ten-fold, and not in a good way. It hurts.
But he pulls out slowly and then back in again and I grip him tighter and as he works himself in and out, the easier it gets. I open myself to him, nails clawing down his back, one hand at the back of my neck. The more he thrusts into me, the more my back rubs raw against the edge of the pool. It hurts, the concrete scraping skin, but in the best way possible.
I can’t wait to show Everly the marks tomorrow. I’ll wear the scars proudly.
“Oh, Shay,” Anders groans into my neck before meeting my lips. Our mouths are hot, wet, tongues are dancing, fueling the fire.
I’m so wicked, I think to myself. We’re so bad. Having sex in a public pool. I don’t know anyone at my school that’s done that. Maybe we’ll be the first.
Anders comes first, hard and loud. I can’t really complain since I don’t always come during sex anyway. I love to hear his sounds, to know that I, and only I, am the one to make him feel this way. Feel so good. It’s power, and the only power I have.
He looks up at me, breathing hard, and starts treading water. The strangest, most haunted look comes over his eyes. He doesn’t look sated at all.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I shake my head for a moment, not understanding. Then I do.
“Oh. Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s been a long time, I get it,” I tell him, pulling my bikini bits back on the right spots. “Just make me come next time and I’ll be good.” I shoot him a grin to let him know it’s cool.
He squints his eyes and spits out water. “Right.”
The sound of a car door slamming makes both of us snap our heads up.
“We should get out of here,” Anders says, quickly pulling himself out of the pool. He extends his hands and hauls me out, just in time for a pair of headlights to flash across the pool area, narrowly missing us. A car has come into the parking lot.
We stick to the shadows and run to the fence, trying to get up and over as quick as we can. I even jump the last bit, into his arms, just as we hear voices and see the beam of a flashlight.
He takes hold of my hand and we quickly run down the road, but he lets go a few moments later as we hurry down another suburban block to where he parked the Mustang.
He doesn’t pick up my hand again for the rest of the night.
And his eyes never stop looking haunted.
12
Anders
Now
I never thought I’d say this, but Shay Lavji has turned out to be one hell of a farm girl.
She’s been up every single morning with me at 5 a.m. for the past three days, and even though she’s still a bit squeamish when it comes to feeding the baby cows, she’s right beside me doing everything that I do. We’ve been alternating helping with the cows and the sheep, which means Uncle Per is getting a welcome respite to just stay inside and work on the farm finances and keeping records.
Astrid and Lise have even been pitching in here and there, though they’ve really embraced their roles as the homemakers. Or should I say, drunken homemakers, since they crack open the beers and cider every afternoon. But it’s their vacation and the two rarely get to see each other, so who am I to judge. I would do the exact same, only I can’t remember the last time I actually got to go away. The fishing and farm life keep me tethered, 365 days a year.
But all vacations come to an end, and Lise and Astrid have already left Todalen, Lise going up to Tromso to see Tove for a few days before she goes down to Oslo, and Astrid back to Paris. Every time they leave, a heavy cloud seems to descend over the farm. They bring so much light and life to the place, as annoying as they can be.