37
Remington
I’d sent Lance and Tony out the door. We’d needed to debrief, but I was impatient to get back to Henri. After what had happened between us—his confession of love and my realization that he was worth whatever price I had to pay to balance a relationship with him and being head of the family—I’d finally whispered the words he’d said back, but I was fairly sure he’d already been asleep. I needed to tell him again in the light of day.
When I reached my room, Henri was dressed in the clothes he’d been wearing when we’d met. He swiped at his cheeks before turning to face me, but it was still obvious he’d been crying. His eyes were red, and he looked worse than I’d ever seen him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“These are my clothes. This world you brought me into… It’s not where I belong.”
He didn’t seem like the same man who’d told me he loved me the night before. “Henri, what’s going on?”
He hesitated.
I took a step closer to him, and he retreated. “Tell me.”
“Fine. I woke up and went to find you, but I heard you and Lance talking, and—”
He didn’t need to say more for me to understand. I regretted ever saying anything to Lance about the night I met Henri, but he kept pressuring me, so I told him I needed to keep Henri with me because he’d seen me that night. I didn’t mention that I’d paid him for his services. Instead, I’d told Lance I rescued him. “Henri, let me explain.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t need to explain. You hired me because it was necessary to protect your family. I get that. You haven’t been cruel to me or promised me anything. It was all me. I was a fool, and now it’s time for me to leave.”
No. This couldn’t be happening. He was not going to leave. “Henri, please. Let’s have some breakfast and talk about this.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I did bring you home because you’d seen me somewhere I shouldn’t have been, but that’s not why I wanted you to stay.”
He held up his hand. “Please don’t. I want to leave.”
I could force him to stay. I’d forced him to come with me without any qualms, but I wanted him to stay because he loved me. “If you would just listen.”
“I have. I listened to a lot of things, but they weren’t true. This has all been a really nice fantasy, but it’s over now.”
Anger grew in me, overtaking my despair. Why was he so fucking stubborn? Why wouldn’t he listen to me? “Fine. Leave if that’s what you want. Leave as if nothing that happened between us was real for you, as if what you said last night wasn’t real. I won’t stop you. But promise me one thing?”
“I don’t owe you any—”
“You owe me three more days, so promise me this instead.” He jerked back like I’d slapped him, and I wanted to take the words back. “Promise me you won’t go back to working the streets.”
“I don’t know how I ever did that to start with. I’m going to find a way to have something different. I want my dream, and I’m going to go after it.”
I wanted to be the one to give him his dream. Was he really going to walk out? Was I really going to let him?
I’d forced him to stay when it was a matter of his safety and protecting myself and my family, but now… I couldn’t force him to love me. I couldn’t bring back what we’d shared, so what was the point? “Let me get you the money I owe you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want it.”
“Henri, that’s—”
“I don’t want anything from you. Just let me leave.”
I stepped aside and watched him walk away with nothing more than he’d had when I’d brought him to my home. I’d have Blackjack poke around until he found a bank account or an app I could pay Henri through. I always settled my debts, but I wasn’t going to chase after Henri. He had been a foolish dream anyway. I was no fairy-tale prince.
38
Henri
The next two weeks were hell. I missed Remington so badly my chest ached. I felt like my bones were made of lead, but I dragged myself through each day. Slowly, I made progress. I used the money I’d made to rent my own room in an old house. I shopped some thrift stores and got myself clothes I could wear to job interviews, and I made an appointment with a debt counselor. It was time to own up to my past and stop running.
My heart was still broken. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to put the pieces back together. It wasn’t just cracked; it was shattered. Somehow, though, I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe one day I would find someone else to… No, I wasn’t going to find anyone else like Remington, but I didn’t need a man like him. I needed to find someone from my own world, someone who didn’t use people so easily.