“I don’t know.” I draw out one of the crispy Italian breadsticks that are in a little cup on the table and snap it in half before taking a bite.
“What did you do today? Did you see your guys?” Olivia calls the Evans brothers my guys. It’s never bothered me before, but today it makes my bones ache.
I nod slowly, still chewing on the dry breadstick. I should have waited to eat this until my drink came.
“What did you do?”
It will probably be best to get this over with. Spill my painful story, rip it off like a band-aid.
The waiter returns, placing a glass in front of me. “Here you go. If you don’t like it, let me know, and I’ll bring you something else.” When I nod, he says, “Would either of you like to order any food?”
“We haven’t looked yet,” Olivia says, reaching for the small menu.
“Take your time.” He glances at Olivia before returning his gaze to me. “I’ll keep checking you out – I mean, checking on you.” He gives a chuckle to let me know the word slip was intentional.
“That was a bit lame,” Olivia says as soon as the waiter’s out of earshot, “but he’s pretty cute. He definitely likes you. He didn’t flirt with me at all.”
I lift a shoulder and let it fall in a disinterested shrug.
“You’re not into him?”
The drink is delicious and tastes like the bartender had a heavy hand with whatever alcohol it contains. I follow my first sip with another big swallow. “I don’t know.”
“He’s cute. You could at least smile at him.”
“Didn’t I?”
My friend shakes her head. “You don’t know how you come off to guys, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
She smiles sympathetically. “I’m only bringing this up because you said you’re unhappy with being single, but I think most guys are scared of you.”
I shoot her a skeptical frown before taking another bite of the breadstick.
“I was honestly shocked when you started hanging out with your golf course guys because I usually see you shut men down the minute they show any interest in you.”
My golf course guys. Another painful ache. “They’re not my guys, and I’m just friends with them. I was interested in Cade until I found out he had a girlfriend, but Ryder’s the one who invited me over, and he’s younger than me, so I knew there was nothing there romantically.”
“Are you sure Ryder’s not interested?”
I shake my head immediately. “No, we’re all just friends. Anyway, like I said, he’s two years younger than me, and at this point it would be weird if I got involved with one of them since they’re like my brothers.”
“If you say so.” Olivia holds the menu out to the side so we can read it together. “What looks good?”
I glance at the food offerings but I don’t really see any of it because my mind is working through my friend’s comments. I have been told before that I can be standoffish. “Quiet” is the comment I get most often. Or shy. I didn’t realize I was putting out such cold vibes, but on reflection, I can see it.
Olivia points out a few appetizer plates to share and I go along with her suggestions. When she flags the waiter over, I smile at him but it feels forced. I will definitely work on how I interact with men, but tonight there’s too much on my mind.
When we’re alone again, and now that I’m starting to feel the effects of my drink, I blurt out, “Something really terrible happened today.”
Olivia gives me all of her attention. “What? What happened?”
Quickly, to get it over with, I tell her. My skimpy suit, my strange reaction to the Evans brothers today, and then … the incident.
She grabs my hand and holds it in hers. “Bianca, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” I feel slightly better just for having shared the story with someone.
“I’ve never heard of that happening to anyone, not out in public like that.”
“I’m a freak. A virginal freak.”
“You are not a freak,” she insists. “Maybe you’re a lucky woman who’s highly orgasmic.” When I give her a look, she corrects herself. “Okay, I know nothing about what happened today was lucky, but being able to orgasm easily will be wonderful when you’re with a man.”
“And that’s my problem. I’ve somehow gotten to the age of 24 without having sex. What kind of guy is going to want to deal with a virgin at my age?”
Thankfully, I see the waiter approaching and signal to Olivia to put the conversation on pause. After he delivers the food – reuben sliders, sweet potato fries, and fried pickles – she picks right back up where we left off.
“If you’re so concerned with your virginity, why don’t you find a random hottie and get it over with? Then, when you meet someone you like, your lack of experience won’t be an issue.”