“Want to hear something silly?” I say, my tone filled with sarcasm. “I thought I was in love with you. You took me out on fake dates and made them seem so real that I started to have real feelings for you. For all of you. I had ridiculous hopes that you felt the same way about me, and that all of us could somehow be together.”
Ryder takes a step toward me, but I move away.
“The fault was mine, of course, for thinking there was anything between us, but I blame you, too. Before we started dating, I loved you like brothers. You should have known better than to suggest I date you. You should have known it was a terrible idea.”
“Bianca –” Cade says, tilting his head to the side sympathetically.
“No, I don’t want your pity.”
Knox tries next. “Bianca –”
They apologized for upsetting me; I answered the question they came here to ask. I think we’re done here. I cut Knox off and stride toward the door. “I want you to go now.”
None of them move.
“I’m fine. Really.” It’s a lie, but I need them to believe it. “You don’t owe me anything, and I don’t want you trying to comfort me. That will only make things worse.”
I open the door for them, but Logan closes it. “We’re not going anywhere, Bianca.” The look in his eyes reminds of that night on the bench in the woods. Dammit, this is exactly what I didn’t want. I glare at him, trying to conjure a steel barrier around my heart.
“Bianca –” He reaches for me, and I don’t have room to move away. “We’re in love with you.”
In love. Not just love, like they’d love a sister. In love. I look back at him, eyes wide.
Knox steps in closer. “Nothing was ever fake between us, B.”
From behind Knox, Ryder clears his throat. “Bianca, I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.” My eyes go wider still. “I should have said something, but I was sure you only wanted to be friends.”
“It’s true,” Cade says. “We all knew how Ryder felt about you, and so the rest of us were never going to ask you out. Bro code, you know. But when Knox proposed we all take you on dates, well, all bets were off.”
My mind rushes to process these revelations. I wonder for a moment if I’m imagining everything. Maybe I took a nap after cleaning and this entire conversation is a dream.
“You never showed any interest,” Logan says, “and you seemed pretty casual about things, so …” He shrugs. “We figured you wanted to keep things casual.”
“Casual? I had sex with all of you!”
“You said you wanted experience. Physical experience. And the night we had sex, you didn’t ask us to stay. You seemed distant afterward.”
“It was you who were all acting strange afterward.”
“To be honest,” Cade says. “It was strange for us to be with you together. That’s never how we imagined things. We’d never shared a woman before.”
“It took some time to figure out how it could work with all of us involved. Physically and emotionally,” Knox says.
Logan takes my hand. “But none of us ever questioned our feelings for you.”
“We didn’t want to overwhelm you,” Cade says. “We didn’t think you felt the same way. Falling in love wasn’t part of the dating arrangement.”
“Love,” I echo.
“We’re so in love with you, B.” Cade’s grin is beyond beautiful. Tears fill my eyes as he wraps me in his arms and kisses me with a tenderness that takes my breath away.
After a minute, Logan tugs Cade away and steps in to take his turn, his lips claiming mine, his arms pulling me close. We kiss until we need to catch our breath, then he turns me in Knox’s direction for round three. When Ryder steps in, the vulnerability in his eyes grips my heart like a fist.
Bits of memories come back to me – Ryder’s ever-present thoughtfulness, the little touches on my arm or back, the passion whenever we’ve kissed. He was focused on me all along and I never noticed.
That same passion is here now in full force. He holds me tight in his arms, his strength reminding me that our two-year age difference doesn’t matter at all. He doesn’t kiss me, he just holds me, his head resting on top of mine, his hands caressing and squeezing. I wonder if he feels like he’s dreaming too.
“So you’re all okay,” I say, speaking to Ryder but raising my voice for all of them to hear, “with … sharing?”
Ryder tips my head up to meet his gaze. “If you want all of us, we all want you.”
When my lips curve up in the start of a smile, he bends and kisses me before turning me in his arms so that my back is against his chest and I’m facing all three of his brothers.