“You need to talk to Madox, honestly. I don’t think he knows you love him. And he deserves to be loved.”
“I’ll talk to him tonight. I’ll tell him. Please, don’t leave him. Please? He loves you.”
“I don’t know what he’s going to say or think, or whether or not you two will be all right. But I know I won’t let anything come between us again. I can promise you that.”
Chapter 17
Sophie
There was a knock on my door at two in the morning. I was still wide awake and waiting by my phone, waiting to hear back from Madox. He dropped me off before meeting his mother at her home, for privacy. She insisted they talk tonight and I urged him to go to her, but I didn’t think about sitting here waiting on him all night.
I’ve never been so uncomfortable being alone. I’ve never wanted to go to him more than I did tonight, knowing he was talking to his mother. It’s been hours.
Trish kept me company on the phone. She had no idea his mother was responsible for this whole thing. The text, the job. None of us did. I knew this apartment was too much. She had the company not just hire me, but also pay for my traveling expenses and an apartment I shouldn’t have gotten. Adrienne made sure I wouldn’t say no to the job offer and to coming back to New York. She made sure there was no reason I wouldn’t come back.
I let Madox in the second he knocked on the door and it’s been nearly an hour since then, both of us just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about it all. Every few minutes there’s silence, but there’s so much to talk about that the silence doesn’t last for long.
“She said she’ll give the company over to someone else if you’d prefer for her not to be there anymore,” Madox says and squeezes my hand.
“I don’t know how I feel about it all,” I whisper.
“You were on their list, Soph. They wanted you.”
“They’re going to find out. Everyone I work for is going to find out I was basically gifted my job.” That part hurts. It fucking hurts. “I love this job, and it’s a big deal to me.”
“Give it a week,” Madox says calmly. “No one knows, and you deserve to have time to show them what you can do.”
The idea of walking away from Lara Bolton and my dream job fucking kills me. I could learn so much from her. “I don’t want to give it up,” I tell him and he rubs his thumb along my wrist; I hope he never gives up that habit.
“Then stay, and my mother won’t be involved in any way.”
At his words and the harsh way they were spoken, I turn on my side, letting his hand go and face him. Tucking my hands under the pillow, I wait for him to look at me before asking, “Do you forgive her?”
“Which part?” he asks me and I feel a swell of sadness rise up my throat. I can’t even imagine how he feels. “She told my father to kill himself that night, and he did. It’s hard to forgive either of them.”
I watch as he swallows, his throat tightening and the small bits of stubble showing. “It doesn’t feel right. I feel like telling her I’m okay with her now is the same as saying what happened that night is okay, and that feels wrong to my father. But he wronged me first.”
His voice cracks and he covers his eyes with his hand for just a moment, breathing in deep. When he takes his hand away, his eyes look red, but there are no tears. “I don’t know how anyone can get past it.”
“I don’t think anyone wants you to get past it. I think your mother just wants you to forgive her for what you can,” I speak slowly, trying to keep my voice even and calm. Agony consumes me when I look at him like this. I never knew my hero was hurting. I wish when we were younger that we would have bared our souls to each other like we are now.
Everything would have been different if we weren’t so scared of losing each other.
In a way, we have his mother to thank for it. I can’t deny that.
Madox doesn’t reply for a while and I scoot closer to him, needing to feel my body against his.
“She brought you back to me,” he says after a moment and I nod my head against his chest. Wrapping his arm around me, Madox pulls me closer. “It’s hard to see her though. It’s difficult to imagine being on a friendly basis with her.”
“I can understand that,” I whisper and he pets my hair. “You’re doing really good just talking about it. You can take it day by day.”