Hannah met me at the curb and helped me unload the car. When we got into their apartment, I felt safe, like I was actually in a place where I could breathe easily, for the first time in weeks. The guest room, which I believed had been turned into a nursery, had been completely redone just for me. Hannah always loved redecorating, and she apparently had been at it in the two days since we decided I would stay there. The walls were light pink, but there were strands of white Christmas lights instead of a lamp, just like I had when we were kids. My parents had hated that, but it was my favorite thing in the world, and Hannah and I used to shut off the overhead light and stare at them like they were stars.
Other than the lights, she had put in a small bed, a nightstand, a dresser, a desk, and a television. If I had to guess, she had been planning on getting all of those things anyway and might have had them in storage from when she moved to Portland herself. I appreciated the attempt to make me feel at home anyway and gave her a big hug as I set my stuff down.
“This is wonderful,” I said. “Thank you. I won’t be taking up your space for long.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “You are family. Jordan and I both agreed you can stay here as long as you need to. I have to get up in the night to nurse Claire anyway, so it’ll be easier having her in our room.”
“Thank you, again. Both of you. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you.”
Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, and she wrapped me up in another big hug. I cried softly into her shoulder while she consoled me for a moment and then pulled me away to stare into my face.
“Come on,” she said. “No more tears. This is going to be fun! Let’s go get something to eat in the kitchen.”
It was nice to have a full kitchen again. I had only a couple of things in the tiny fridge at the hotel, and I shoved them into hers altogether. Considering my meals at the hotel were all either ordered in or cooked in a microwave, I looked forward to a lunch at a dining room table, cooked on a stove. It was a little sliver of home. The parts of home I enjoyed, at least.
Jordan was coming out of the bedroom while Hannah cooked, and he smiled at me as he sat down. Claire was asleep in their room, and the door was left open so they could hear her if she cried. I peeked around the corner and could see her sleeping like an angel. A soft smile spread across my lips.
“I’ll bring her out when she’s awake,” Hannah said.
“She’s just so pretty,” I said. “It’ll be nice to hang out with her. Oh, that reminds me, I have the night off, so if you guys want to cancel the babysitter, I can look after her.”
“Oh, you don’t have plans?” Jordan asked. “We wouldn’t want you to feel obligated.”
“No, not at all,” I said. “I’d love to help.”
From the bedroom, the baby started crying, and Hannah looked over to Jordan while she cooked. He nodded and got up to go get her. A few moments later, while I was stuffing my face with the fantastic chicken Caesar salad Hannah made, he came back, baby in his arms.
“Hey, everybody,” Jordan half whispered. “Somebody didn’t want to stay napping with all the excitement.”
I held out my hands for her, and Jordan grinned. He brought her over and sat her in my arms, and I looked down into her tiny, happy face.
“Hello there, little Claire,” I said. “You are just the cutest.”
It was nice holding my little baby cousin, and I was sure I was going to enjoy playing with her and spending time with her as she grew up. However, it did make me think about my future. About how I wasn’t sure I could ever be a mom, especially now. Not with the things I wanted to do or the sudden upheaval of my life and the destitution I currently found myself in. It was just too much.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Hannah asked. “If you’re really okay with it, I’ll call Greta. But only if you’re sure. We don’t want you to feel like you are becoming a live-in nanny or anything.”
“Seriously, it’s fine,” I said. “I want to.”
“Thank you, Chloe,” Jordan said. “Hey, babe?” he asked, looking at Hannah. “We only have an hour before we need to be there. Why don’t you let me get the dishes and you get ready?”
“Okay,” she said, wiping her hands with the dish towel. Then she came over and pressed a kiss to little Claire’s head and then another one to the top of mine. “Thank you again, Chloe.”