We all stopped to look at Chris. “Why do you have Cosette’s roommate’s number?”
He shrugged as he typed on his phone. “I just do.”
Okay. Now I was curious. He was totally holding out on me. “How close are you and Cosette?”
He threw his cell on the table and ran a hand through his already frizzed out hair. “We’re just friends and it can’t ever go beyond that. So, drop it. Please.”
“Why not? I—”
“Because she’s the fucking princess of the goddamned Lunar court, and I’m not nearly alpha enough. I’d become a slave if I ever stepped foot in there.” The natural rasp in his voice was turning into a growl.
My mouth dropped open. No. That couldn’t be true. If that’s all that was standing in their way, then there had to be something we could do. Some kind of magic or amulet or fucking fey artifact that could protect him.
“Don’t. I know what you’re thinking, but just don’t.” His chair clattered to the ground as he stormed out the back door.
“Chris!” I yelled as I followed. I was only a step behind him onto the back porch, but he kept moving. “Chris.”
He moved faster, heading for the woods that surrounded the house.
“Wait!” I backed it with a tiny touch of power. He could keep walking if he wanted to, but I didn’t want him to run off upset. Not with how everything was going.
His eyes were burning bright blue as he spun to me. “I can’t talk about this. I need to go, but I’ll be back. Just give me an hour.”
“You don’t have to talk about anything and you can absolutely leave. I only want to say I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. It’s absolutely none of my business. But I don’t want you to leave mad. Tonight is going to get crazy, fast. And I didn’t want to miss my chance to apologize. If there’s anything that I can do to help, I want you to know that I’m here for you. But I won’t bring it up again. Promise.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. You’re upset, and I’m a total asshole for upsetting you. You’ve done nothing but be there for me since we first met. I owe you the same respect.”
He closed the distance, giving me a hug. “You just hit a sensitive spot, but you’re my friend. It happens.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No. It’s hopeless. We both know that there’s nothing that can happen between us, but trying to convince my wolf that it’s not happening is another matter.” He took a breath. “I am who I am. You heard what Blaze said. You’re born with whatever power you have, and I don’t measure up.”
“But if—”
“I just need a second to calm down.” He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the ground. “Being a part of this is a better distraction than I could’ve ever hoped for. I never wanted to be a Cazador. Never settling down. Never having a home. That life wasn’t for me. But my home pack is small, and being back there last month wasn’t good for me. Too much has happened and I don’t fit there anymore. I’ve been a little lost until last night. Until you picked me. I’m going to work hard to make sure I’m worthy of my spot.”
Worthy? That was a load of crap. “Shut up. You’re worthy. Maybe the Alphas in that room couldn’t see it, but I did. Meredith did, too. You’re an amazing person, and everyone who gets to call you their friend is lucky. I love your lighthearted teasing. You’re kind and always there with a smile and a laugh, even when I don’t think I can laugh. And especially when I need one. I hate seeing you upset.”
He gave me a grin, but it wasn’t his normal smile. “It happens. Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worrying about it. Is Cosette being a part of this new council thing going to be bad for you?” I hated asking, but I had to.
“I don’t know. Cosette… I can’t be what she needs in a mate, but I’ll always be her friend. I can’t—I can’t…” He blew out a hard breath and his eyes grew glassy. “I don’t know how to say it, but my wolf made his choice, so she’s it for me. I can’t be her mate, but I can be her forever friend. So, it’s complicated, but it’d be that way even if she wasn’t part of this.”
Hearing that his wolf had chosen his mate, but that it wasn’t going to work out made my own heart ache like someone was pulling it apart. “That can’t be it.” This was so wrong. He deserved so much better than a lonely life.
“But it is.” He stared at the ground as he toed off his shoes. “I’m disappointed that I’m not powerful enough to survive a day at court with her.” His voice had grown gruff with his wolf edging closer. “But life is full of disappointments. When you get smacked in the face with one, you have to pick yourself up. So, that’s what I’m doing. I have to let her go, and hope she finds someone worthy. But I can’t leave her. Not entirely. I just hope that it gets easier, because right now, I just want to be a wolf all the time.” He went to unbutton his jeans and I spun around.
“Chris…” His furry head bumped my hand, and I squatted down, gripping his hair. Chris’ wolf was a light blonde color. “Take your run,” I said as I stared into his blue eyes. “But know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” He rubbed his face against mine and then took off into the woods behind my parents’ house.
Come on back, chérie.
I am, I said, but I stayed where I was, feet firmly planted as I listened to the soft sounds of wolf-Chris running farther into the woods. I wish there was a way to help him. You think it’s true? About him not having enough power to be with Cosette?
Probably.