“You brought me to your side in this room, you know. Everything I had believed about Conner changed here.”
“How could you ever have worked for him, Mott?”
“It’s all I knew. And I swear that I never knew the worst of his crimes.”
“He never spoke of his plans?”
Mott thought for a moment, then said, “A week before he killed your family, Conner mentioned that your father had grown suspicious of the regents and had begun requiring searches upon their every entry into the castle. I never thought about it then, but in hindsight, I’m sure that complicated his plans. If I had known, I would’ve stopped him.”
I nodded, and kicked at the ground with the toe of my boot.
He was quiet a moment longer, then added, “Jaron, can you forgive me for what happened here?”
“You whipped Sage, not Jaron.” He shook his head, not understanding, so I said, “Do you want forgiveness now because I’m Jaron, because I’m king? Would you ask for it if I were only Sage?”
Now Mott understood. He turned away from me and it looked as if he was unbuttoning his shirt. “Do you remember when Tobias cut your back? You told me the wound was from a cut on a window.”
It had been an outright lie from me, which I still regretted having to do. But it was the only way to force Tobias to back down from trying to become the prince.
“All you got was the loss of a day’s meals, and Tobias got no punishment at all,” Mott continued. “When Conner found out I’d tried to keep that from him, he gave me this.” Mott lowered his shirt enough to reveal a whipping scar on his back, not as deep as the one he’d given me but certainly enough to have caused significant pain, and I ached to see it. As soon as he’d shown me he raised his shirt again. Still facing away from me, he said, “I took that for Sage, not Jaron.” He left before I had a chance to say a word, as if there were any words I could have spoken then.
I found him again at suppertime in Conner’s small dining room. Tobias was with the cook, arranging final details of the meal, so Mott and I were alone. He rose when I entered and we stood at angles, too uncomfortable to face each other directly.
After a brief silence, I said, “The only reason I’m alive today is because of what I’ve done wrong in my life. My crimes may have saved me, but I never meant for them to harm you.”
Sadness filled Mott’s eyes when he looked at me. “Jaron —”
“You will never again ask my forgiveness for what happened in the dungeon.” It hurt to speak the next part. “And you will let me ask forgiveness from you.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Maybe not yet.” I glanced briefly at him. “But it will be.”
“I know you’ve got some heavy concerns,” Mott said. “But we are friends. You can tell me everything.”
I shook my head. “No, Mott. Not everything, because you’re my friend.”
At that, Tobias entered with a tray laden with three bowls of stew. If he sensed the awkwardness in the room, he didn’t acknowledge it. “There’s no bread because the cook didn’t have time for it,” Tobias explained, serving me the largest of the bowls.
“This is enough,” I said. “Sit down, both of you. Let’s eat as friends tonight, and nothing less.”
Even so, the time passed in an uncomfortable silence, until Tobias asked, “Was it a surprise to see Roden last night?”
“The kind of surprise that makes your heart stop for a beat,” I said. “When I saw him again, I had wanted it to be on my terms, not his.”
Tobias nodded. “You should have killed him the night you were crowned, when you two fought in the tunnels. Why did you let him go?”
After taking another bite, I said, “Until last night, I didn’t think it was in him to harm me. I suppose that’s changed now.”
“The only thing Roden wants is to matter, to be important,” Tobias said. “If he has to hurt you to get that, he will. Maybe Gregor is right and you should be in hiding.”
I glared back at him. “You think I’d ever be so cowardly?”
“Enough of this!” Frustrated with me, Mott threw his spoon down. “If you insist on us not bowing to your royalty, then I’ll treat you like the obstinate boy you are. Why are we here? I demand an answer.”
“Or else what?” I grinned and folded my arms. “I can beat you in a sword fight, and we all know what’ll happen if you lock me in my room.”
“Nothing so complicated as that.” Mott also folded his arms. “I’ll simply decide not to like you anymore.”