After taking another bite, I said, “Until last night, I didn’t think it was in him to harm me. I suppose that’s changed now.”
“The only thing Roden wants is to matter, to be important,” Tobias said. “If he has to hurt you to get that, he will. Maybe Gregor is right and you should be in hiding.”
o;I know that.” My words were barely a whisper.
“I can hear the fear in your voice. Let me help.”
I was afraid, and I really did want to talk about it. But I also couldn’t allow Mott to change my mind. If I gave him enough time to talk, he’d eventually succeed.
So I only said, “If you want to help, get rid of the vigils for me.”
Mott sighed, then reached for the handle and left the carriage. After he’d gone I left the carriage as well and wandered toward the back of Conner’s estate. It was strange to be here again with Farthenwood so unchanged, and yet my entire life once more turned upside down.
The memories of my time here remained fresh and raw. This was where I’d received two scars on my back as reminders of the price of returning to the throne. One was given to me by Tobias, and the deeper one came from Mott. They were now the two people I needed most in this world.
“We were looking for you.” Tobias was already bowing when I turned around.
“Stop that,” I said.
He rose up and smiled awkwardly as he ambled over to me. We stood beside each other, facing the back of Farthenwood. Directly in front of us was Conner’s room. Maybe they’d suggest I use it, since it was the nicest one. I wouldn’t be here tonight, but even if I were, under no circumstances would I sleep there.
“I heard Gregor wants to replace you with a steward,” Tobias said.
“That’s his plan.”
He kicked at the ground. “You never wanted to be king, so maybe it’s a good thing.”
“Is it? Should I celebrate that?” He apologized, and as we headed back to the house, I said, “Maybe I should appoint you as my steward.”
Tobias chuckled. “Definitely not! But I’d love to be a physician one day. Or maybe a teacher. I’d be a good one, I think.”
“Yes, you would.”
“The problem is, there’re no children at the castle to teach. Maybe one day you and Amarinda —”
“I wouldn’t count on that,” I said flatly.
“She still hates you?”
“I don’t know what she thinks about me. I don’t know what she thinks about anything, really.”
“Have you talked to her?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you start too.”
“Sorry.” Then he added, “Jaron, why are we here? Does it have anything to do with those pirate books from last night?”
Barely able to contemplate it all, I only nodded and said, “Yes, Tobias. It has everything to do with them.”
Once inside Farthenwood, I made every attempt to avoid Mott and Tobias. I had nothing to offer for real conversation and too many thoughts filled my mind to leave room for idle chatter.
With nothing better to do, I took to wandering the halls, and inevitably found myself on the lower floor of Farthenwood, standing inside Conner’s dungeon. It wasn’t clear to me why I felt compelled to come here. Maybe it was just to be able to stand here as a free person, to know that I could choose to leave any time I wanted.
“I didn’t think you’d come down here.”
I turned to watch Mott walk down the stairs. He came to stand beside me and folded his arms.
“I didn’t think so either,” I said.