“I don’t have any history with relationships, so what the hell does that mean?”
“Exactly what you just said.”
Shane really couldn’t believe this. He knew Grace wasn’t crazy about him, but Cole was his best friend. Cole knew him like… Well, shit. He knew Shane well enough to know the same things that Shane knew about himself.
All his outrage escaped as he exhaled and felt his shoulders slump. He wasn’t the guy anyone would want a friend or sister dating. Fuck, he didn’t think he was a dog. He never promised anything more than he had to give, but what he had to give was lacking. Sex, not love. Momentary company, not commitment. He knew these things. So did Cole.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, holding up his hand like a flag of surrender. “I
t’s not like that. She’s a neighbor. We had pizza.”
“Yeah? You sure?” Cole’s raised eyebrows spoke a soliloquy of doubt.
“I’m sure. Merry is just…a buddy, you know? That’s all. Someone to hang out with.”
Cole apparently found that easy to believe, because his tension melted into a relieved smile. “Good. Because I don’t want to have to kick your ass over this. Or shovel you into an ambulance after Grace gets a hold of you.”
“Got it.”
“Because you know she would stuff your balls down your throat, right? After she cut off your dick.”
“I’ve kind of been getting that feeling. But it’s not going to be an issue. We’re friends. That’s it.”
Cole slapped his shoulder. “Perfect. Easy’s having us over on Sunday evening and asked if you’d come out. This’ll be much more relaxing if I’m not guarding you from the gelding knife Grace has been eyeing.”
“I’ll be there.” Easy was a damned master of the grill pit. Shane wouldn’t miss it for the world. And it would be a damn sight more comfortable if he could get past this apology to Merry. “So is she home?”
“Yep.”
He said goodbye and steeled himself for the next few minutes. Best to apologize and get it over quickly, like peeling off a bandage. Still, it went more quickly than he’d planned. His knuckles had just barely hit the door to her apartment when she yanked it open and greeted him with a bright smile.
“Hi!”
Shane had just barely formed the worry that Merry was a little too excited to see him when she corrected his panicked thoughts.
“I’m sorry about last night,” she said on a rush. “I shouldn’t have gotten so flustered. I know it didn’t mean anything.”
“Oh. Right. Yes, I’m sorry.” His mind tried to find the right words. “It was just the beer and the, um…”
“I know. There was a bed right there, so why not? Right?”
“Uh. Sure. Of course. And you looked different last night. I just got a little…”
“I wiled you!”
Shane blinked. “Huh?”
“I wore shiny stuff and showed some skin, and listen, I totally get the friends with benefits thing. It’s cool.”
“Oh.” What was she saying? The conversation was quicksand beneath his feet. “Friends with benefits? Was that what you were thinking?”
“No!” She laughed. Hard. “No way! Oh, God, I’m sorry. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to. I swear. You’re super hot. And really sexy. And I’d be up for it. I really would. But it would be too weird.”
“Weird,” he repeated, but what he was really thinking was hot. Sexy.
“Not weird because of you! No. You’re not weird. I’m weird. Or, I mean, I’m not weird. Well, I probably am. But it would be weird because I haven’t had sex in a really long time.”
“Oh.” Shane’s brain felt as if it had shattered into a hundred pieces that were all flying in different directions. “I see. I think.”