And even though I’ve come to trust the four men who stole me from my wedding, who later saved me from the man I was going to marry, I’m still holding a part of myself back. I don’t want them to know just how fucked up and confused I am about all of this.
I don’t reply to Zaid’s words, and he opens his mouth as if to say something else but closes it again.
I’ve hardly seen any of them since the night Brian tried to kill me—the night I tried to run away. But even though I’ve been hiding in my room like a coward, I swear I can feel a change in the atmosphere that hovers over the entire house.
Something has shifted between all of us.
I know I’m not the only one who senses it, not the only one who isn’t sure what it is. I’m not sure I even want to know what it is. I don’t know where I stand anymore. Am I the enemy to be watched with suspicion, or am I becoming one of them?
The thought has crossed my mind more than once.
It consumes me.
Am I becoming one of them?
Can I even be one of them?
Even if I wanted to become part of this world again, I don’t know if it’s possible. No matter how protective they may seem of me now, I know how deep mafia loyalties run. These men have sworn their lives and their loyalty to each other and their syndicate. Just because the flames of the past have rekindled between us, that doesn’t mean they’ll choose me over the organization that’s meant everything to them.
“Are you afraid?” Zaid’s brows pull together a little as he watches me.
I turn around to face him. “No.”
Lie.
His eyes say it, and my face betrays it. No one in their right mind wouldn’t be afraid of facing Damian Novak. He’s more powerful and dangerous than anyone else in this city. I would be a fool to assume he’ll deal with me kindly, especially considering how much Hale hated me at first. My father betrayed the Novaks, and Hale was certain I was part of that betrayal. I’m not sure part of him doesn’t still think that.
Doesn’t still blame me for my father’s sins.
I don’t know what Damian is going to do with me, but scarier than that is the fact that not even Hale, Zaid, Lucas, or Ciro seem to know what he’s going to do with me. They’re being held in just as much suspense as I am. I could be walking straight into a trap for all I know. For all they know.
They say they’re protecting me, but are they really?
“He could kill me,” I say quietly.
“No. Don’t think that, Grace.” Zaid takes another step forward, finally reaching me. He turns me around and lifts my chin up, forcing me to meet his serious gaze. “Listen to me. That. Will. Not. Happen. We’ll look out for you. I promise. Okay?”
My heart stutters in my chest, tripping over his words. I want to believe him. I want to believe the promise I hear in his voice, but I can’t. They can make all the promises they want, but I know that they still answer to the powers above them. No matter how much they say they’ll protect me, they have a duty to uphold. And no one is more loyal than a mafia soldier.
“I think I should…”
The words die on my lips as I watch his intense gaze drag to my mouth. The emotion in his eyes shifts from worry to hunger.
“Should what?” he asks, smirk playing at his lips. His words seem to brush up against my mouth.
His head lowers, and I tilt my chin up without considering the consequences. The fear bleeds out of my own body, replaced by the heat that spreads outward from every place Zaid’s skin touches mine.
Over and over and over, these men tear down my walls.
Faster than I can rebuild them.
“I won’t let anything hurt you, Grace,” he promises, his voice rough. “Ever.”
When his lips press against mine, I can feel the restraint in him. He wants more, wants to eat me alive. But this kiss isn’t a claiming. It’s a promise.
Lucas strides into the room, but Zaid doesn’t even flinch as his brother enters. He definitely doesn’t try to hide or make excuses for what we were just doing.
And why would he?