PETER: We need to hang out more.
Dammit.
It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with him, but I don’t want to lead him on either. Peter isn’t the one that I’ve set my sights on. He’s a really nice guy and all, but there are three other men who occupy my thoughts, and who are beginning to occupy a space in my heart.
And it’s not just one of them. It’s all three of them. I keep waiting for it to become clear who I should choose, but the more the four of us hang out, the more obvious it’s become that I would never be able to pick one over the others.
I’m surprised Leslie still wants to be my roommate, let alone my friend, after I told her all of the fucked up shit that’s gone on. About how I hooked up with three best friends and can’t choose between them. But she doesn’t seem disgusted by me. In fact, she seems to think I’m cooler than ever. It’s why I like her so much. She’s not the type to judge someone for going after what they want.
ME: I’ve been super busy with finals.
PETER: But finals are done now.
ME: Yes, but I just have other things to do.
PETER: I thought you were into me, Emma.
ME: I think you’re a great friend.
PETER: I want more than that.
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ME: I don’t have anything else to give.
Thus ends that text exchange.
My stomach twists. I’m not great at this kind of thing, and I hope that I haven’t ruined things, but I sense that maybe I have. But I can’t keep leading him on just because I’m trying to make my heart and mind fall for a particular kind of guy. For better or worse, my heart, mind, and body know exactly what they want.
I’m ready to stand firm in the truth, but I hope I didn’t hurt Peter’s feelings. I don’t want to date him, but I’m open to being his friend if he’d like that.
“Hey, girl! Earth to Emma!” Leslie throws a pillow at my head, and it bounces onto the mattress after it hits me. “I’m boooored! You wanna go out? Find a party? Hit up a bar?”
I put down my phone, grateful for the distraction. No more drama for me today.
“Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. How are things going with Rory?” I ask.
Her expression tightens with pain. Then she rolls her eyes. “We broke up.”
“Oh, no! Why?”
“He said he wants to see other people. I don’t know what happened.”
“Ugh, guys are the worst.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Maybe he didn’t like that I waited so long to have sex with him.”
I grimace. “Seriously, if that’s what he’s like, then you’re pretty much dodging a bullet.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” She still looks pissed and disappointed. Then she cracks a bawdy smile at me. “What I need is one of those harems you’ve got going on. Then I won’t have to try to find the perfect guy. I’ll have one for every mood.”
I chuckle, shifting uncomfortably on the bed and picking up the pillow she tossed at me. She’s joking, I know she is, but that’s not why I feel attracted to all three Icons. It’s hard to explain the chemistry that draws us together, but it’s not like I’m just trying to Frankenstein together the perfect man out of the three of them. I know she’s just trying to make herself feel better after her breakup though, so I don’t get defensive about it.
“We’ll go get a few drinks, maybe do some dancing. You’ll feel better,” I tell her, rising from the bed and crossing toward my closet. But before I reach it, my phone rings, and I can see from where I’m standing that it’s my dad.
“Hold on.” I raise a finger to Leslie and dart back to the bed, grabbing the phone and picking up. “Hey, dad.”
“Emma, what have you done?”