But I don’t want her to feel like that.
I want to know her, even if it’s just a little bit. Even if it has to happen in baby steps.
“I just…” I clear my throat. “I feel like we should talk sometime. Catch up. We’ve missed a lot but… maybe we can make up for some of it.”
A smile, radiant and pure, breaks out on her face. She nods exuberantly as she reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone. “I would love that, Sabrina.” Her smile falters a little, and she hesitates. “Or is it Sophie? I heard your friends calling you Sophie when you were at the house.”
“It’s Sophie,” I tell her firmly. I don’t care what my given name is, I’m not Sabrina anymore. I’ll never be that person again.
“All right. Sophie,” she says, her eyes going a little glassy with tears. “It’s a lovely name. It suits you.” She holds out her phone. “If you put your phone number in here, we can get ahold of each other.”
I take the phone from her, cocking an eyebrow. “Yeah, I know how phones work,” I say dryly, typing in my number.
She lets out a small laugh. “Right. Of course. I’m sorry. I’m—I’m nervous.”
“It’s okay.” I hesitate before adding, “I am too.” Then I hold out the phone. “Here. I texted myself so I’ll have your number as well.”
Our fingers brush as she takes the cell phone back from me. Her hands are soft and dainty, just like her. I definitely didn’t get her delicate features—though we do resemble each other in some ways. Her hair is almost the exact same shade of blonde as mine, minus the blue dye that streaks my locks.
She gives me one more smile, this one a little more hopeful and less forced. “Thank you. Goodbye, Sophie.”
I don’t give her a hug. I’ve never been a big hugger, and I only show casual physical affection with the few people I’ve gotten genuinely close to. Maybe we’ll get there in our future. Or maybe we won’t, but that’s not the point. I don’t have to look to her to be my family, because all the family I need is back in the hospital room behind me.
Even if my mother and I never completely heal, that’s okay.
I watch until she steps into the elevator, giving me one last wave before she disappears behind the closing doors. As I turn to head back into Gray’s room, a small lump rises in my throat.
But the ache is a good one.
27
I wake up with a crick in my neck, curled up on a chair in the waiting room with absolutely no recollection of how or when I got here. Declan and Elias are by my side, however, so either we moved as a team or one of the nurses kicked us out of Gray’s room in the middle of the night and I just don’t remember it.
Elias stirs next to me, blinking the sun out of his eyes. It’s early morning, judging by the sunlight that pours through the windows. He yawns and gives me a crooked smile.
“Hey, Blue. How’d you sleep?”
I shift a little on the seat. It’s padded and fairly large, and my body is warmed from both sides by Declan and Elias. All in all, there are much worse places to try to grab a few hours of rest.
“Not bad.” I grin at him, reaching up to run my fingertips over the light shadow on his jawline. “You?”
“Good.” His brown eyes dance with humor. “You make a pretty damn good pillow.”
“Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you.”
He chuckles, looking infinitely pleased—as if inane early morning banter about which
of us makes a better pillow is exactly what he’s been craving.
Actually, it probably has been, I realize.
It’s what I’ve been craving. Little moments like this. Tiny moments of happiness and peace, where there are no threats hanging over our heads, no danger lurking around the corner. Moments where we can just enjoy each other and bask in the feelings that have developed between us.
As if sensing my thoughts, Elias reaches up and traps my hand with his, pressing my palm to the curve of his jaw and cheek. He gazes down at me quietly for a moment, something warm passing through his light brown eyes.
“You know,” he says quietly, his lips curving into a smile. “I didn’t want to steal Gray’s thunder yesterday since he’s the one who got shot, and I was so fucking glad he was okay. But, Blue? I love you too.”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth to keep my smile from growing so wide that I look like an idiot. But it’s impossible to contain. A giddy sort of happiness spreads through my chest, and the feeling is so foreign that it almost scares me for a second.