Not since they found a way inside my heart.
When the first few students walk in, Professor Kelley greets them by name instead of ignoring them like he did me. Most of the professors here are like that, although a few aren’t. But a lot of them saw me as “lesser” the second they found out I was a scholarship kid. As if the fact that I don’t have parents who could buy my way into this school makes me a dumber person.
I roll my eyes when one of the girls—a junior, I think—lingers at the professor’s side with a familiarity that can only mean one thing: they’re fucking. I’m not sure what the rules are about that here, but I’m pretty sure these rich assholes can get away with whatever they want.
For the next fifteen minutes, students trickle into the lecture hall, avoiding the seats in the back, next to me. I obviously don’t have the cooties, but I do have a reputation, and no one wants to be associated with me, despite the morbid curiosity that surrounds my name. The jeers, the taunts, the questions. The snickers and whispers.
I ignore it all.
Just as class is starting and Professor Kelley dims the lights so that we can better see some boring as hell presentation, one of the side doors opens and shuts silently, casting a small beam of light into the dark room.
I don’t look, because I already know who it is.
It’s fucking Gray.
This is the only class we have together—the only class I have with any of the Sinners. All three of the guys are a year ahead of me, a fact I couldn’t be more thankful for since it means our class schedules don’t really overlap.
My heart thuds with an unwelcome ache, a spark of something that doesn’t belong there. I ignore it, keeping my eyes on the professor and not on the back of Gray’s head. He sits by himself, just like me, but the other students don’t avoid him for the same reasons they avoid me. They avoid him because everything about him says stay the fuck away.
And they listen.
They listen, because Gray Eastwood is Gray Fucking Eastwood, and he can get away with whatever the hell he wants to at this school. Like trying to kick out students who have every reason and every right to stay in the place they’ve earned.
It makes my blood boil.
He’s tried to talk to me exactly two times since school started back up. And both times, instead of apologizing or offering any explanation for why he flipped from hot to cold yet again, he’s just done his best to convince me to leave.
Why? Why does he fucking hate me so much? Why can’t he just let me live my goddamn life?
The class passes quickly, Professor Kelley’s droning voice filling the large room. When he dismisses everyone, I wait for the room to clear out before I leave like I always do, watching as Gray gets up to talk to the professor about the lecture.
I pretend I don’t notice his gaze flicking toward me as he speaks with Professor Kelley in a quiet, even voice. Our eyes meet for a split second as I head out the door, such a fleeting moment of contact I almost think I’ve imagined it.
Elias and Declan are waiting for me just like they’ve done every day since Monday, but I still look at them with wary distrust. I catch them glancing into the classroom, where Gray stands with his back to the door, still talking to Professor Kelley. Declan narrows his eyes a little.
“He didn’t try to talk to me,” I say dryly, pushing past them into the empty hall. “I don’t think he will either.”
“We’re just looking out for you, Blue,” Elias murmurs, his suspicious gaze following Declan’s.
Maybe I should be getting used to it by now, but it’s so weird to see them act like this toward Gray. After seeing the three of them as a unit for so long, it’s strange to see them pitted against each other.
It makes something in my chest tighten unpleasantly. I don’t like seeing them like this, honestly, but I remind myself that I didn’t make this choice for any of them. I’m just trying to fucking survive, and if they take sides among themselves about whether I deserve to be here, that’s up to them.
Declan and Elias follow close behind me as we leave the building. They seem to think they have to be my bodyguards these days, and I don’t have the heart to tell them I don’t need them hanging around all the time to make sure nothing bad happens. I’ve got things under control by myself.
Well… mostly.
People don’t seem to whisper or glare at me as openly when Declan and Elias are with me though. Even though the Sinners may be broken up, all three of them are still respected on campus. Maybe even a little feared.
Max is waiting for me in the dining hall, and I spot her easily in the crowd. My eyebrows shoot up when I realize who she’s standing with—Aaron, one of the Saints. When Max looks over at me and gives a small wave, Aaron looks too. He doesn’t sneer at me the way Cliff does, but I can’t quite read the expression on his face.
“Max is over there,” I tell the guys. “I’ll see you later.”
I leave them to make my way over to Max, and they let me go. Despite their insistence on escorting me across campus when they can, they’ve never gotten pushy about it or tried to stop me from going places on my own if I want to—probably because they know I wouldn’t fucking stand for it.
When I catch up to Max, Aaron is mid-sentence, laughing as he talks. As soon as I step up to join them, the mood instantly dies, but a small smile still tugs at the edges of his mouth as he says goodbye to Max before shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away.
“What was that all about?” I ask, giving my friend a curious look. Aaron is one of the Saints, and if she hasn’t already realized, that little posse wants very little to do with me or the people who hang around me.