“I do know that, Will. You’ve been amazing through this—so patient and supportive.”
He cupped my cheeks. “That’s because I love you.”
This was now the third time Will had said he loved me, and I hadn’t returned the sentiment. I felt more and more pressure to say it back, but I couldn’t without being sure.
I turned my face in his hand and kissed his palm. “Thank you.”
A little while later, Will had to go to the hospital for his shift, so we said goodnight. After I shut the door, I felt a little relieved to be alone. I could stare off into space as much as I wanted; I wouldn’t have to pretend I was okay or explain why I wasn’t. So I poured myself a glass of wine, hoping it would help me unwind, and picked up the photo album that had been sitting on the living room coffee table since before my dad’s wake. My little sister had made photo collages to display at the services, so I’d borrowed an old family album from my mom with pictures of my dad and me.
I sighed as I flipped through the pages—my father and me fishing, my father trying to teach me how to play softball, my father with nail polish painted halfway up his fingers because he’d let four-year-old me give him a manicure. Mom, Dad, my older sister, and me pumpkin picking—page after page of memories I hadn’t remembered from my childhood. When I got toward the end, warm tears slid down my face. And when I turned the very last page, I saw a photo I definitely hadn’t been expecting.
Instead of more family pictures, it was a piece of paper with a selfie of Declan printed on it. He was making a funny face with his eyes crossed, cheeks hollowed out, and his lips puckered. He was also holding up a three-pound bag of M&Ms. I laughed out loud reading the note scribbled next to the photo.
Dry your eyes, my beautiful girl. I know it wasn’t easy flipping through those pages. But you made it, so you deserve a reward. Now get your lazy butt up and look under the couch.
Amused, I practically jumped out of my seat and crouched down. Sure enough, there was an unopened, three-pound bag of M&Ms. Snatching them up, I sat back on the couch and took out my phone to text Declan.
Molly: I just found my M&Ms! How did you know I’d need them, and when did you put them under my couch?
A few minutes later, the dots on my phone started to jump around, and I got more excited than I’d been in weeks.
Declan: I did it when I was home for the funeral last week—before you woke up. Are those the only ones you found so far?
Home. Yet again, he’d referred to here as his home. I wondered if he realized it.
Molly: I’ve found the loose ones you hid. But this is the only one with a picture of you. Are there more?
Declan: I guess you’ll figure that out at some point…
I laughed and started to text back. But at the last minute, instead of pressing send, I hit call.
“Did you believe the green ones made you horny?” he said in greeting, rather than hello.
I chuckled. “No, but I do think Twinkies will outlast the apocalypse.”
“Interesting. If you could only leave the house with one item when the apocalypse hits, what would it be?”
“I have no idea. Maybe a flashlight or a lighter? How about you?”
He answered confidently. “Ketchup. A big-ass bottle.”
“Why in the world would you bring ketchup?”
“Why in the world wouldn’t you? That shit is good on everything.”
I laughed. “God, Declan. This conversation is ridiculous, and yet it’s exactly what I needed.”
“Sadly, that isn’t the first time I’ve been described that way by a woman.”
There had been background noise, but it suddenly went quiet. “Did you just turn off the TV?”
“No, I’m at the bar down the block from my hotel.”
“The lesbian bar?”
“Yeah. I’ve made some good friends.”
That made me smile. Declan could make friends anywhere.
“Well, I won’t keep you long, then.”
“Don’t worry about it. I just stepped outside so I can hear you better.”
“I wanted to say thank you for doing that—for knowing I’d get to that last page of the photo album and need some cheering up.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. Anytime.”
Hearing him call me that sent a flush of warmth rolling through my belly.
I laid back on the couch and held the bag of M&Ms to my chest with my cell phone at my ear. “How are things in Cheeselandia?”
“Actually, it’s getting a little creepy.”
“Oh? How so?”
“I’m starting to get a pretty full arsenal of cheese jokes.”
“Cheese jokes? You mean your jokes have grown corny?”
“No, as in literal cheese jokes. What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?”