Nella stares at me, disgust etched on her face.
“Are you serious?”
I nod.
“Yes! Some women just want sex, and Susan was like that. Even more, she was okay with the type of sex that I wanted, and didn’t give me any trouble over it, so I probably stayed with her longer than I should have. Again, there was nothing there. No emotional connection, no intimacy. Nothing.”
Nella’s eyes squint and her mouth turns down into a frown.
“I’m sorry? What do you mean, the type of sex you wanted?”
Now it’s my turn to be confused.
“Anal, honey. I like anal. Haven’t you realized that? I’m in your bottom practically every time we’re together.”
Her cheeks flush and she nods stiffly.
“Yes, but I didn’t realize it was that much of an issue. Or that you couldn’t find partners to do it with.”
I sigh. This is an uncomfortable conversation, and it’s too bad that we have to have it in public on the street. But sometimes, it just happens where it happens.
“Anal isn’t for everyone,” I say in a low voice. “You just adapted to it better and faster than a lot of women. But actually, a lot of my partners tried it and didn’t like it, so yes, I’ve had some trouble finding women who would agree.”
Nella stares at me again.
“You specifically go out looking for anal sex partners? Really?”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair, frustrated.
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty offensive. But yes, I like women who take it in the behind, and yes, it’s something that I prefer. So I tend to gravitate to women who are okay with that, and in my experience, cougars are generally more accepting. They’re older, more experienced, and are okay with sometimes all anal, and no vaginal.”
Nella stares at me once more.
“You want all anal, and nothing straight?”
I throw up my hands in exasperation.
“No, I didn’t say that! All I’m saying is that I like things the back way, and a lot of women aren’t into it, at least not with the frequency that I prefer. So when I stumbled upon Susan, yes, I did it with her. And she was okay doing one hundred percent back door, so I stuck around longer than I should have.”
Tears come to Nella’s eyes then.
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”
I let out a defeated sigh.
“I can’t believe it either, but it is what it is. I’m just trying to explain why I dated your mother, and how it wasn’t even really ‘dating’ in the way that normal people ‘date.’ It was just a physical connection, and it worked for a while at least.”
Nella takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Well, why didn’t you stay with her then?”
I take her soft palm in mine.
“Isn’t it obvious? Because I had nothing like what I have with you. We barely even talked, to be honest. Susan would come over, drop trou, and wham, bam, thank you ma’am! Then she’d leave, and we were both okay with that.”
Nella looks like she’s going to vomit, but she nods.
“Okay.”
I take a deep breath.
“So are we good here?”
The curvy girl looks at me with confusion.
“Good?”
“Yeah, I mean, are you okay with what happened? That your mom and I used to be … well, you know.” I can’t bring myself to say “anal sex partners” because it would just inflame the situation all over again.
But Nella looks disappointed and put out. She merely shakes her head.
“I have to think about it, Paul. It’s not every day that you discover your mom is your boyfriend’s ex.”
I want to scream again that we’re not exes in the traditional sense. Susan and I just hooked up because it was convenient, that’s all. But it would be going around in circles at this point, so I merely nod.
“Okay, take your time thinking about it,” I say in what I hope is an even tone. “Just let me know what you decide.”
She shoots me a long look and nods before turning.
“I will. I’ll catch an Uber home. Thanks, Paul.”
And somehow, that ‘thanks’ is my undoing because it sounds so final, and so done. Have I lost the woman of my dreams because of this bizarre turn of events? God, I hope not, but what can a man do in these circumstances?
7
Nella
“I just still can’t believe you and Paul are over,” my friend Sansa remarks from behind me. “I mean, I get that what happened is totally crazy. But still, you were so in love!”
I grimace, although she can’t see. My buddy’s French-braiding my hair during a girls’ night, and I’m glad to have Sansa over this evening, even if all we do is wallow while downing gallons of ice cream.
“I thought you said we didn’t have to talk about it,” I respond.
She nods with understanding.
“Of course not,” she coos. “It’s fine! We’ll talk about whatever you want.”