“You used to date?” she screeches. “What the hell?” Now everyone on the patio is looking at us, but I don’t blame my girlfriend. This is not the kind of surprise anyone wants to get. I take a deep breath and begin to speak.
“I’m sorry babe, I had no idea or I swear I would have told you before. It never crossed my mind for a second that Susan Thompson was the same Susan Thompson that I used to see a long time ago.”
Nella turns to me, her expression still horrified and accusatory.
“This is why you made me come to lunch!” she screeches. “You knew about this?”
I shake my head, trying again.
“No, I didn’t. Susan Thompson is a really common name. I’m sure if you were to google it right now, you’d find a hundred or even a thousand other Susan Thompsons. Never, and I mean never, did it occur to me that I’d dated your mother in the past. This is just as much of a shock for me as it is for you.”
But now, the bane of my life chimes in.
“Nella, you didn’t want to come to lunch with me?” Susan asks in in a disappointed tone. “Why honey? You know we have a special relationship, and now it’s made even more special seeing that we’ve both been with Paul biblically.”
I shoot her a dirty look, indicating that it isn’t the time. Susan pretends to be surprised, but I ignore the woman and refocus on trying to reassure Nella.
“Like your mom said, it was a long time ago and it wasn’t serious. I promise you it isn’t a big deal.”
“He’s right sweetie, it’s not a big deal,” Susan simpers. “Except that we’ve both sampled the same man’s sperm.”
That does it. I swing to the older woman, my gaze murderous.
“Shut up,” I grit between my teeth. “Just keep your trap closed!”
At least the older blonde looks ashamed enough to behave. Her mouth purses and fine lines appear around her lips. Thank god. But Nella isn’t calm at all.
“Oh, of course you two are going to team up on this! How can you think this isn’t a big deal?! This is clearly a huge deal.” She’s getting frantic and I know where this is going: my girlfriend’s going to storm out. It’s Nella’s signature move when she gets overly upset.
“I care about you, and this doesn’t change that,” I tell her in a reasonable tone. “What happened between me and your mom was ages ago. It’s in the past. It’s practically prehistoric, in fact.”
But Nella is still aggrieved.
“Well it changes how I feel about you,” she spits. Her words cut through me like a knife and I’m shocked, frozen in stillness.
“Do you really mean that?” I ask in a low tone.
Nella shoots daggers from her eyes.
“Of course I do!” she shouts before grabbing her purse and storming from the garden patio. “You’re disgusting!” she huffs. “Both of you!”
The world around me blurs, and all noises become a distant buzz. If I had known all those years ago that Susan had a gorgeous, intelligent, funny daughter that I’d end up falling in love with, I never would have dated her. To tell the truth, it wasn’t even really dating. Sure, we had a few meals together, but mostly it was just hooking up. How do I explain that to Nella though? It’s rancid, and the fact is that there is no good explanation.
Susan turns to look at me.
“So are you going to go after her?” she asks in a silky voice while stroking a nail down my forearm. “Or is this going to be a lunch with just you and me?”
That does it. Shivers of disgust run down my spine and I jump up, not even looking at the older woman. Then I exit the patio and chase after the curvy girl.
“Nella, wait!” I call, sprinting half a block after her. “Please!”
She stops and turns around slowly, shooting me a look of disbelief.
I drop my hands to my knees for a brief moment to catch my breath, and then look up. Unfortunately, her expression is still irritated.
“What do you want?” she asks.
“Nella, let me explain,” I huff. “I want you! This whole thing—”
Unfortunately, she cuts me off.
“Well, you should have thought of that before you banged my mom!” A passerby swivels on his heels with a shit-eating grin on his face. He sniggers and my fists clench in rage.
“Fuck off,” I scowl before turning back to my girlfriend. I step in closer to Nella, softening my demeanor.
“It’s not what it looks like,” I begin.
Nella shoots me a furious look.
“Please. Don’t even start. You have had sex with my mother.”
I hold up a hand.
“Okay, yes we had sex. But it was so long ago! And it didn’t mean anything. We didn’t date in that way, and no way were we in a relationship. It was just a casual thing with an older woman, and I swear I had no idea I would one day meet you! This is just a perverse coincidence, that’s all.”