“Right,” she said, smoothing her hand up my chest. “I haven’t told anyone.”
“I just got my divorce papers recently. I have a kid. A demanding job. I can’t—”
“Your divorce papers?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s been years but the paperwork hasn’t caught up.”
She swallowed and nodded. “So there’s no chance you’ll be getting back together with her?”
Were those the rainclouds she was looking for? “We were over the moment she walked out, and I haven’t seen her since. The divorce is just procedural. But it’s something I need to get done. Between Bethany and my job, my plate is full. And I’m not sure what I can offer you. I won’t make promises to anyone and I don’t expect any in return.” It was as honest as I’d ever been with anyone. I wasn’t sure how to fit her into my carefully constructed, fiercely protected world.
“I’m not asking for anything,” she said. “Let’s just deal with right now.”
Somehow Autumn always knew the right thing to say. I nodded and she brought her hands up my arms, trailing a shiver across my body.
“And right now,” she said. “I have a huge crush on my boss.”
I chuckled. Yes, that would do for now. A mutual crush. Something that would pass or fade without drama or significance. I would take her advice and just deal with the moment right in front of me. And all I could see was a beautiful woman I was helplessly attracted to, saying she wanted me too.
I pressed my thumb over her lips in a straight line over her chin and down her neck and between her breasts. “I want to taste you.”
She took my hand and linked her fingers through mine. “I’ll warn you now, I’m sure I taste like hot, buttered popcorn.” She seemed to have an almost magical ability to turn a difficult moment into something easy, to create light where there was dark. Perhaps she’d be able to breathe life into a cold, damaged heart that had been in hibernation for a very long time. And perhaps I’d be able to shield her from any impending rain clouds. Just for the time being.
Fourteen
Autumn
I was surrounded by racks and racks of white tulle. At my feet was five-inch-deep pink carpet and when I looked up, all I saw was sparkling crystal. This must be what it was like to live inside a cloud. Or heaven. Or unicorn throw-up.
“I don’t even know where to start,” Hollie said. “Maybe I should just buy something online.”
“Don’t you dare,” I replied. “You can’t buy your wedding dress online. I think it’s illegal or something.”
“Prison’s got to be better than spending the entire afternoon trying on a million dresses. And I can’t believe I dragged you here. I’m sure you have much better things to be doing than babysitting me.”
It was typical of Hollie to feel bad about trying on wedding gowns. It was my job to get her to enjoy herself today. I’d make it happen if it killed me. “Are you kidding? I get an excuse to day drink.” I took a seat on the cream velvet chair in the ginormous dressing room suite, as the sales assistant called it, and sipped from the glass of champagne they’d poured us when we arrived. “And I get to watch my sister look beautiful. What could be better?”
“You’re a good sister,” Hollie said.
“You’re better. Now go into your little hidey-hole and try something on for me to ooh and ahh about.”
One of the assistants swept in like she was on wheels, carrying an armful of clouds.
“Just pick out any one of them and take it behind the screen,” she said as she added dresses to the rack in front of us. “And then I’ll come round and help you get into it. We’ll quickly get a feel for what you like and don’t like.”
“I would be happy to wear my jeans. Or elope,” Hollie said.
“This is exciting, Hollie. Just think, a couple of years ago, you would never have thought you’d be in some fancy boutique in Knightsbridge, picking out wedding gowns to wear when you marry the man of your dreams.”
“I’m being a Debbie Downer, aren’t I?” Hollie asked.
“Yep. Knowing you, you’re just feeling bad for feeling happy.”
“It’s just so much,” she said, disappearing behind the screen. “And of course I’m happy, but you’re right, I do feel a little weird. Not only did my dreams all come true, but they were surpassed. I never thought this could be my life.”
“So enjoy it.” I knew she was sighing, even though I couldn’t hear it. “You worked so hard for so many years, Hollie.”
“I just hope you don’t think I’m rubbing it in your face,” she said.
I laughed. I loved my sister but she was ridiculous. “How could I ever think that? You spent your entire life making sure I could have a better future. You sacrificed your own happiness over and over. And it worked. I got my degree. I’m in London. Okay, I’m not quite a career high-flyer like you, but it will happen eventually. And in the meantime, I get to look after the cutest little girl and . . .” I could feel the blush start to rise in my cheeks and I knew I had to change the subject before Hollie emerged in her dress and spotted it. “In September I’ll start my job. Before that, I’m going to travel across Europe. You and me, we’re just at different stages.”