He controlled me and who I spoke to.
But when we ended up at the same college by chance, our friendship quickly reverted to what it was before. The moment I heard from one of the staff members at my parents’ house that Jules would be at NYU as well, I had a feeling I would see her. I was right. She sought me out, and when she finally found me, she basically jumped on top of me and vowed never to let me out of her sight again. Seeing her the first time was hard. I hadn’t seen her since her mother died. The memories attacked me, making it hard to breathe, but then she laughed like she always did, smiled, and made me promise never to leave her again.
I did.
A promise I’ll never regret.
No matter what it costs me, I need her in my life. She is my life raft. The only person who understands my family. Understands the power the “governor” has on me.
In her own way, and unbeknownst to her, she’s a part of it.
My need to help her, protect her, and also atone for my past sins, keeps me under my father’s thumb.
She doesn’t know that part, though. Nor will she ever.
“When do you have to see him?” Her voice dips, her once peppy attitude turning more somber.
“Dinner is tomorrow, I’m sure. Like always,” I deadpan.
As much as I wish it wasn’t the case, my father insists I attend family dinner every Sunday night. He makes sure pictures are always taken, posted, and tweeted.
He wants to portray the picture of the perfect family man.
If only that was the truth.
But that’s my role. To be the perfect daughter. All in the great pursuit of the ultimate goal.
My father has always made it very clear what that would be.
My father has presidential dreams. He also has very powerful friends who will get him there.
The man is cutthroat, ruthless, and to top it off, a real asshole.
There is not one good bone in his whole body.
He is the devil incarnate.
A feeling of dread always overcomes me when I know I have to see him. That I will have to acknowledge his presence at all.
But the worst part about it, the part I dread the most, is that no matter how hard I try to break away, he still has complete control over me. It’s gotten worse too. Every year, it gets worse. My heart lurches again as bile travels up my throat.
I hate the man.
The feeling is mutual, I’m sure.
There is no love lost between us.
As if manifested by a higher power, my cell phone dings on the table. I know it’s him before I even check who’s calling.
Other than Julia, no one calls me.
Not even my mother.
She is the dutiful wife. The perfect politician’s accessory.
Too bad she is an awful parent. Even awful is an understatement for what she is.
I grab my phone and look down. Just as I suspected, there on the screen is a message from dear old dad.
Governor asshole: Dinner tomorrow. 6:00 pm. Do not be late, Viviana.
Great. He’s scolding me through the phone.
I tip it toward Jules to show her what he wrote. She laughs when she sees it.
“Governor asshole? Not Dad?”
“Lord no. That wouldn’t properly depict how I feel every time he calls me. Now would it?” I smile. It’s a sugary sweet smile, but one hundred percent laced with venom.
“No.” She shakes her head. “It wouldn’t.”
Julia knows how much I hate my father, but she doesn’t truly understand.
She doesn’t understand that the money my family pays hers is hush money more than it is to help them. And she doesn’t know the secret of why . . .
When her mother died in my house, she and her brother were orphaned, left to live with poor relatives. Everything I have ever done that my father has asked of me is to make sure he helps her and Jonathan.
I shake my head. I can’t think of that now.
Especially when there is nothing I can do to get out from under his thumb.
He leverages everything on me. Always making sure I behave.
Needing to think about something else, I stand from the chair and turn to face Julia.
“I’m going to get showered. Need to look good for tonight.” I smile. The truth is, I don’t care what I look like, but my guilt eats away at me, so I have to leave.
“Yeah, you kind of smell too.” I laugh at her words and shake my head as I walk toward my bedroom, leaving a giggling Julia behind.
Once I’m in my bathroom, I strip off my clothes, turn the shower on, and step under the water.
It’s scalding hot.
Too hot.
Reminding me of a time before. A time when my whole life changed. A time that is still holding me hostage all these years later.