• • •
I had the cab drop me off at the corner. Even after the twenty minute ride, I was still procrastinating walking back in the front door.
I’d been a grad student. I could recognize procrastination a mile away.
Why stand outside the House? Why delay going back to the man who loved me? Because I felt so suddenly vulnerable. Stripped emotionally bare because the vampire who’d attacked me was back again. I felt like I was standing naked in a spotlight, blinded to the onlookers, knowing they were there.
And that wasn’t all. I felt that I’d failed because I’d let him go. Yes, that had been to save the life of a child, but it still ate at me. He was still out there. And he wouldn’t go away.
I could defend myself, sure. Would defend myself when we inevitably met again. But until then, there was waiting. There was feeling exposed.
That sent me back toward the House, toward the fence and the gate.
Tonight’s guards were two human women I’d seen standing sentry before. One was tall and leggy, with pale skin and a crop of pale blond hair. The other was shorter and curvier, with a strong body and dark skin, her dark hair pulled into a tight bun.
“House is on alert,” said Liv, the taller guard.
“Yeah,” I said, looking up at the imposing stone structure. “That’s my fault. Any problems?”
“Very quiet, actually,” said Valerie, the shorter guard.
I nodded. “I should get inside. Stay safe out here.”
They nodded, opened the gate just enough to allow me entrance. For the second time tonight, I listened to it work. Only this time, I was on the opposite side.
There were three supplicants in the foyer tonight—a man and two women. Their gazes flicked to me as I walked in, then back to the phones they watched to pass the time.
I nodded at the Novitiate who staffed the table as I passed, then walked to Ethan’s office. I paused outside the open door for a moment, steeling my nerve, and walked inside.
Ethan stood in front of the windows, hands in the pockets of his black suit, back to me. Malik stood to his right, a sheaf of papers in his hands.
Both looked back as I walked in, took in the torn clothes, the blood. The magic that poured through the room was a heady cocktail of relief, anger, and Masterly irritation.
o;I couldn’t agree more,” my grandfather said, but his gaze was still wary, and I could feel my panic bubbling up. The fact that I’d held back from the rest of the officers.
“Merit?” he asked.
“He was the vampire who attacked me.”
The words spilled out, faster than I’d meant them to.
I’d seen protectiveness in Ethan’s eyes. The anger that showed in my grandfather’s was pretty similar.
“From the Quad?”
I nodded. “I didn’t recognize him the night Caleb was killed; I didn’t see his face. It wasn’t until we were on the train that I saw—” Bile rose, and I had to stop, close my eyes, wait for the nausea to pass.
“Here,” Jeff said after a moment, offering me a cold bottle of water.
I nodded my silent thanks, pressed the bottle against the back of my neck. “Kind of hits you funny.”
“It does,” my grandfather said. “And it’s completely understandable.”
“You were fucking incredible.”
Surprised by the curse and the tone, my grandfather and I both looked at Jeff.
His gaze was fierce.