“That was before …”
“Reaper, there was no one who enjoyed sex more than you. Well, except for Rider and Moon … and …” Lucky started over. “Do you know why you used to be the number one go-to when the brothers had sex?”
Reaper turned his back on Lucky, unable to take the sincerity that was coming from him.
“You have an intangible sex appeal that drives women crazy. They would get wet by something as simple as you taking your shirt off. The brothers would be one step behind in the game before you even hit the bed.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Reaper, you can’t bury the sexuality that it so much a part of you, no matter how hard you try. Your sexuality doesn’t define you, but it is a part of the whole. That sexuality was used against you as a weapon, and when you feel betrayed, you stick a nail in the coffin and say you’re done. Normally, I’d agree with you. I can’t know how I would react if I had to endure the same vicious acts you did.”
“I don’t want to talk about this with you.”
“Why not? We fucked women together dozens of times all over the Ohio club, but we can’t stand here and talk about sex? Be fucking real. I’m going to be real with you, because I love you, brother, but you need to get your head out of your ass. You being raped by men didn’t change your sexuality, you giving men blow jobs or whatever else didn’t either, nor does it make you a whore when you had to perform for the women who bought you. They may have used and treated you a million different ways sexually, but they never ever owned your sexuality. That can’t be bought or stolen; it’s held within where no one can touch it, regardless of how hard they tried to tear it away from you.”
“Then why do I feel so fucking dirty?” Reaper yelled.
Lucky moved from behind his back to hold out his hand. “I think I may know something that could work. Will you trust me, brother?”
Reaper stared at the hand held out to him. How could he not trust Lucky? Lucky had risked his life to go to Sherguevil for him and Ginny.
Placing his hand in Lucky’s, the brother led him into his bathroom where Lucky released his hand. “Take off your clothes, Reaper.”
He wanted out of the closed-off room. However, concentrating on the blue towel hanging on the rack, Reaper removed his clothes as Lucky started the shower.
“Get in the shower,” Lucky instructed.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Lucky removing his clothes. Reaper froze as Lucky sat on the side of the tub to remove his shoes, then stood up to remove his pants.
Lucky paused when Reaper didn’t go fully in the shower.
He trusted Lucky … He trusted Lucky … Reaper told himself, repeating the refrain to get his heart rate back in control. He stepped in the shower, shivering under the warm water when Lucky stepped inside, completely naked.
Staying to his side, Lucky cupped his hand under the spray. “This may not be a river, but this water is drawn from one. Matthew 3:11: I baptize you with water for repentance.” Lucky raised his hands filled with water over his hand. The water slid over his head and body to the drain underneath his feet.
“I don’t believe in God.”
“He believes in you, Gavin.” Lucky placed his hand on Reaper’s shoulder. “God never lost faith in you. His arms remain open to you anytime you’re ready to walk into them. This water is a symbol of your purification. Let your sins, and the sins committed against you, go down the drain, never to touch your soul again.”
Lucky turned the water off, leaving him alone in the shower.
Moved despite his lack of faith, Reaper kept his eyes averted from Lucky as he left the shower.
Grabbing the towel from the rack, he started drying off. “Since I’m all clean, you going to tell Ginny to marry me now?” he said, attempting to lighten the unexpected and intense feelings of Lucky’s words. When he stepped into the shower, he’d felt as if he shed an outer layer of filth that no matter how often he’d previously washed he could never get clean. Drying off he didn’t feel brand new, but didn’t feel nearly as contaminated.
“No.”
Reaper went into the bedroom to dress, still not understanding this hold Lucky had over Ginny. Then thinking about Ginny, his mind went to which of the brothers Ginny would have asked for advice.
Sitting on the bed, Reaper was putting on his boots when Lucky came out of his en suite.
“Any idea who Ginny would have talked to yesterday?”
Lucky was as perplexed as he was. “None. She spent the most time with Rider and Shade when they were trying to find her stalker.”