But I can’t. I cannot go there. Not with what’s at stake.
“You’ve been reading,” he says, and he looks at the stack beside my cup of coffee. “A lot.”
“Just wasting time,” I scoff.
“Time you could be spending with me,” he retorts, leaning forward on his elbow too, his biceps thickening from the pressure. And I’m stuck wondering why I even noticed.
“Tsk … As if.” I roll my eyes and pick up my coffee again and take another sip.
“Is the prospect of being with me so unreasonable to you?” he asks with a serious tone, which captures me off guard.
“I …” I swallow down the coffee and put the cup down with great intention, then look up at him from underneath my lashes. “You promised me that it would be over once I’d confessed. That I would be free.”
His nostrils flare as he sucks in a breath, still intent on listening to every single one of my words.
“You lied. You betrayed me. You don’t even live by your own rules.”
“You fled the premise and tried to involve others,” he rebukes. “As far as I can tell, we both broke the rules.”
“I didn’t make them!” I yelp. “And I never told you I would follow them. I was never asked. The other girls all came willingly, but you stole me like it was your God-given right.”
His body grows rigid in the seat as though he finally realizes the gravity of the situation.
“I will never, ever—”
“Stop,” he interrupts, tilting his head backward.
I sigh and look away. I knew it. Of course, he never wants me to finish that sentence. Because doing so would mean finally saying the one thing I’ve wanted to scream at him since the day he took me.
“You’re right. I took you. Not just because of your sin,” he admits. “But because I wanted you. I wasn’t ready to admit that at the time, but I am now.”
“That doesn’t change anything,” I say. “All you did was deceive.”
“And I apologize for that,” he says.
I narrow my eyes at him. He really thinks I’m ready to forgive him like it’s easy?
“It’s not going to be that easy.”
“Then tell me what I can do,” he asks, the most sincere look on his face.
I raise my brow at him, but he just does not let up. So I sigh. “The least you could do is respect my wishes.”
“Which are?”
“I want to be left alone,” I respond, looking him dead in the eyes.
A tepid smile appears on his face. “You know I can’t do that.”
I sigh out loud and get up. “Well, then you’re just going to have to deal with a snarky me.” I walk out of the living room and strut about the house. No one can stop me now. What’s he going to do? Lock me up? Been there, done that. There’s nothing left he can take from me. I have nothing left to give.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“Oh, now I can’t look around either?” I spit back at him while glancing at him over my shoulder.
He follows me around. “Of course you can. But I wasn’t done yet.”
“I am,” I say, and I go straight for his study. He immediately catches up and blocks my path. “I’d like to explore this room now. Are you going to stop me from doing that too?” A smirk spreads on my face. “Something you’d like to keep hidden?”
He smiles back and then unlocks the door himself. “No … not at all.”
And as the door opens, I step back straight into his office. I only saw a few glimpses of the books in there before. I’m curious to know what kind of things he does here. If this is where he makes all his dirty plans.
“So … where’s that book again?” I murmur, looking around. “The one with all the rules in it. You pass that down from generation to generation, don’t you?”
“Where it belongs,” he replies, somewhat annoyed, probably because I managed to find all that out from a simple glance last time.
“In the shelves?” I point at the bookcase.
His whole frame tightens. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” I ask, raising a defiant brow. “I can’t know what it is you do in here?”
His nostrils flare. I know I’m pushing it, but we both know he’s going to give me what I want … because he wants me to be happy. Even if I know I never will be when I’m a prisoner. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“I’d rather tell you myself than have you snoop through the pages of that book,” he says, folding his arms. “There’s some personal information in there.”
“Personal like what?”
He sucks in a breath through his nose. “From the other guests.”
My eyes widen, and I stop on my way to the bookshelf. “Oh.”