I get up and smile at the girl when she approaches me cautiously, clutching her fingers together while tapping her feet. “Hi, Mimi. Nice to meet you.”
“Hi,” she says with a cutesy high voice.
“I’m a friend of your mom,” I add.
“A friend? Mom rarely has friends over,” she says.
Jamie’s cheeks flush, and her brows rise. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is,” Mimi says straight to her face, which makes Jamie shut her eyes in embarrassment.
“Okay, whatever you want. Just go do your homework,” she says.
“Can I have some juice first?” she asks.
“Of course,” Jamie says, sighing as she gets up from her seat and goes into the kitchen. “Here’s a cookie too. Now go and do your homework quietly, okay? Mommy and Amelia have to talk.”
“About what?” Mimi asks, and I hide my laughter behind my hand.
“Adult stuff,” she replies. “Oh, and I want you to clean your room. Amelia will be sleeping in your bed tonight, and you’ll sleep with me.”
“MOM!” she retorts with her hands propped on her hips.
“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that,” I interject with a half-smile. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“The couch?” Jamie frowns at me as if I just suggested something truly insane.
“It’s fine,” I say as I pick up my coffee and move to the couch to pat it a few times. “I’m sure it’s very cozy.”
Jamie raises her brows at me. “Are you sure?”
I throw her a look. “Yes, this is perfect.”
I honestly don’t want to force a kid her age out of her own bed. She needs the independence.
“See, Mom? I can sleep in my own bed,” Mimi responds, pursing her lips. “I’m not a baby anymore. Babies sleep with their moms.”
Jamie rolls her eyes, which makes me laugh. “All right, fine.”
“Yay! See ya. Time for homework,” Mimi says, as she quickly rushes to her room and shuts the door.
“No TV until you’ve finished!” Jamie yells after her, but there’s no response, of course.
“She seems like a handful,” I jest.
“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it.” She sinks into her chair and grumbles to herself. “These prepubescent hormones are giving me hemorrhoids.”
I snort-laugh and almost choke on it. “Sorry.”
“Oh, laugh away. I do it all the time. Keeps me from going insane,” she says, twirling her finger around her temple.
“Must be hard, raising her all by yourself,” I say, still seated on the couch.
“Yeah … It’s been rough since Paul died,” she replies. “But I manage.”
I nod a few times, unsure of what to say. It sounds rough to lose the man you thought you’d raise your daughter with. Now she’s on her own with no one to help her. We’re kindred spirits, stuck in the same kind of survival state that not many people understand.
But even if we can find a little bit of solace in each other’s comfort by talking, I know I won’t be able to stay. And to pay her back for all this, I’m going to have to find a job. Tomorrow.
That night, Eli comes into the living room. Before I can scream, his hand has already covered my mouth. Our eyes lock as my body goes numb against the couch. Adrenaline floods my veins as he whispers, “Why? Why did you run, little Angel?”
I want to answer, but his hand still blocks my mouth.
“Is knowing the truth so bad?” he asks. “Do you wish I would just disappear so you could go back to your old life? To Chris?”
He leans in, his body against mine as I struggle to even breathe.
“Did you hate it so much to be with me?” he says, lowering his hand so my mouth is freed. But still, no sound can come out of my mouth. It’s as though my lips are sewn shut, even when they aren’t, but it feels like it … because I cannot utter a word when I look into his devilish eyes.
His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath on my skin. “Is this what you want? To be away from me?” he whispers. “Say it then … say it out loud.”
I gasp as his lips land on my neck, leaving a hot trail of desire, and I find myself grasping for the blanket around me, wishing it didn’t feel so good. But as his tongue dips out and licks me all the way up to my chin, I can’t help but close my eyes and let the lust rush inside and take me over.
Even if I wanted to, I can’t say the words out loud.
I can’t tell him to leave, even when I know I should.
Because I want nothing more than for his lips to be on mine and for his hands to caress my body. For his greed to overtake mine. For my mind to become numb and forget everything and anything that was ever in my way. Even when it’s wrong. Even when we are wrong.