Her eyes flew open, and she looked up at the ceiling, the dream still clinging to her. I continued to circle my hand, to show her my touch was gentle and safe as I loomed over her. Her eyes eventually focused on my face, and I knew then she was awake.
“Gray?” She swallowed. “God, I had a nightmare.”
“No one’s going to get you here. You’re safe with me.”
Her tense muscles relaxed, even with her dark eyes laced with sleep and worry. “Will you… will you just hold me?”
Brushing a lock of hair from her forehead, I nodded. I lay back on the bed and held out my hand. “Come here,” I murmured.
She took it, and I helped her turn, so she fit snugly up against my side, my shoulder her pillow and her top leg tangled with mine. Her hand rested on my bare chest, and the feel of it was… incredible. Reaching down, I tugged the blankets up.
Her body stilled, her breathing evened, and I thought she’d fallen back asleep.
“Can I… can I ask you a question?” Her voice was soft, almost tentative.
“Mmm?” My eyes were closed, just reveling in the feel of her.
“Is it always like this? I mean, this between us, it’s happening so fast.” Her finger swirled idly over my chest. She must have realized what she was doing because she clasped her hand into a fist, as if she was unsure of whether she had liberty to do so. I put my hand on top of hers, smoothed out her fingers.
“It’s never been like this, baby.”
She sighed, and I felt her breasts pressing into my side. “It’s nothing like what they say.”
“What?” I prodded.
“Games and waiting a day to call and putting out to keep the guy interested and—”
I knew what she was talking about. I knew more women than I wanted to remember whose goal was to get laid by the MMA hot shot, The Outlaw, more than Grayson Green. I’d played the games myself all because I didn’t really give a shit. But now…?
“This, between you and me… it’s… between you and me. No one else. There’s no comparison.” The answer seemed to settle her. “Sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”
17
EMORY
* * *
I came awake slowly, at first unbelievably comfortable and cozy, but then I realized my head wasn’t on a pillow but tucked into a shoulder. Gray’s shoulder. The front half of my body was plastered against him. He was warm, yet hard all over, his muscles like steel beneath the softness of his skin. Gray was on his back sound asleep, and I took the opportunity to look at him. We’d only held hands and kissed, and I’d never seen him undressed. This was the first glimpse I had of his body, and I could do it freely since the bedside light was on, offering a soft glow to the room. His whiskers were dark on his jaw, his lashes and brows equally dark. Even in sleep, he was formidable. I could see the tattoo on his chest now, a swirling pattern that began on his left pec and curved around his ribs and onto his back. He had a smattering of hair on his chest, then tapered over the rigid curves of his abs to form a dark line below his navel. It traveled beneath the waistband of his boxers, and I felt myself flush, wondering what the rest of him looked like.
Now wasn’t the time to find out. He deserved rest after the night I put him through. I remembered crying all over him, then waking up from a nightmare at some point during the night. He’d been there, holding me each time. I felt safe and… wanted when I was with him. It was the first time in years I’d had someone to grab on to, who’d let me cry, who let me be weak. While I had Chris, I’d been alone since the divorce, being strong for my son when I’d felt like being anything but. With Gray, I didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to be invincible because I knew he could be strong for us both.
I wanted to stroke my hand over his cheek, to kiss him, but I didn’t. While he slept, he didn’t worry, didn’t have the combined stress of my mess and his own work. Carefully, slowly, I slid off the bed and into the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible. After taking care of business, I used the same toothbrush from the night before. My hair was wild from falling asleep with it wet, but I didn’t have a hair tie to pull it back. I inwardly groaned at Gray seeing me like this, but then I remembered how I'd been a sniveling mess just hours before, so it was somewhat irrelevant at this point.
I came out of the bathroom to find Gray awake. He'd pushed himself up, so he leaned against the pillows and headboard, the sheet sliding down to reveal his torso. His very fit, muscular torso with the incredible tattoo. Even the one on his arm stood out now. I hadn’t considered tattoos appealing before, but they were a part of Gray, and they were perfect. His gaze raked over me from head to toe.
Biting my lip, I stood just outside the bathroom. Would he want me to go? Had I ruined everything with my emotional outburst?
He crooked a finger. “Come here,” he murmured.
Just those two words had my fears crumbling away. I walked over to the side of the bed as his eyes followed me. His fingers went to the hem of my T-shirt. He kept his gaze fixed on them for a moment, just holding the hem, then let go. He looked up at me. There, in his eyes, was the heat and intensity I recognized. Lust, pure and hot, flared, and I knew this was the moment. I felt my nipples tighten against the cotton of his shirt, my core softening and heating from just that look. My lips parted, and I breathed slowly.
While Gray had taken me for messy wings for lunch, sent me sweet and funny texts, even rescued me when I’d called him, he’d been chivalrous and a perfect gentleman. Even when he’d kissed me in my kitchen, I’d only caught a quick glimpse of an aroused and needy Gray. He’d held back, waited. But now, the waiting was over. This Gray, with his piercing dark eyes, the hooded lids, was something else entirely. His lust was visible in the tense lines of his muscles, the ruddy color of his cheeks, the heat that his body exuded. This was the version of him he’d held back, kept at bay, perhaps to keep from scaring me because he was… intense.
He held his hand out, not quite touching me, making me reach out to him. What we did in this moment was my choice. I could lift my hand and take his, and I knew what would happen. We’d have sex. No, it wouldn’t be sex with Gray. It would be more. So much more. He was going to claim me and make me his. With Gray, there would be no going back. He’d said he never brought women to his apartment, and so this simple act, holding his hand out for me to take, signified he was offering me… everything.
My other choice was to step back, to walk away. He’d continue to be patient, to be gentlemanly until I was ready. Was that what I wanted? Did I want Gray to continue to be a gentleman? I liked that he was. It showed so much of his character, but now, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to see every facet of the man, to know every part of him, including the dark and carnal. I didn’t want him to hold back any longer. I wanted all of him.
I lifted my hand and placed it in his. His eyes, the banked heat there, flared to life. With one tug, he pulled me across his lap, his arm around me,