Her mercy killed her.
I killed her when I chose her.
There better be a God. So he can damn Achilles to hell forever.
Someone kicked at his foot.
"Go away," said Bean, "I'm not bothering you."
Whoever it was kicked again, knocking Bean's feet out from under him. With his hands he caught himself from falling over. He looked up. Bonzo Madrid loomed over him.
"I understand you're the littlest dingleberry clinging to the butt hairs of Dragon Army," said Bonzo.
He had three other guys with him. Big guys. They all had bully faces.
"Hi, Bonzo."
"We need to talk, pinprick."
"What is this, espionage?" asked Bean. "You're not supposed to talk to soldiers in other armies."
"I don't need espionage to find out how to beat Dragon Army," said Bonzo.
"So you're just looking for the littlest Dragon soldiers wherever you can find them, and then you'll push them around a little till they cry?"
Bonzo's face showed his anger. Not that it didn't always show anger.
"Are you begging to eat out of your own asshole, pinprick?"
Bean didn't like bullies right now. And since, at the moment, he felt guilty of murdering Poke, he didn't really care if Bonzo Madrid ended up being the one to administer the death penalty. It was time to speak his mind.
"You're at least three times my weight," said Bean, "except inside your skull. You're a second-rater who somehow got an army and never could figure out what to do with it. Wiggin is going to grind you into the ground and he isn't even going to have to try. So does it really matter what you do to me? I'm the smallest and weakest soldier in the whole school. Naturally I'm the one you choose to kick around."
"Yeah, the smallest and weakest," said one of the other kids.
Bonzo didn't say anything, though. Bean's words had stung. Bonzo had his pride, and he knew now that if he harmed Bean it would be a humiliation, not a pleasure.
"Ender Wiggin isn't going to beat me with that collection of launchies and rejects that he calls an army. He may have psyched out a bunch of dorks like Carn and . . . Petra." He spat her name. "But whenever we find crap my army can pound it flat."
Bean affixed him with his most withering glare. "Don't you get it, Bonzo? The teachers have picked Wiggin. He's the best. The best ever. They didn't give him the worst army. They gave him the best army. Those veterans you call rejects--they were soldiers so good that the stupid commanders couldn't get along with them and tried to transfer them away. Wiggin knows how to use good soldiers, even if you don't. That's why Wiggin is winning. He's smarter than you. And his soldiers are all smarter than your soldiers. The deck is stacked against you, Bonzo. You might as well give up now. When your pathetic little Salamander Army faces us, you'll be so whipped you'll have to pee sitting down."
Bean might have said more--it's not like he had a plan, and there was certainly a lot more he could have said--but he was interrupted. Two of Bonzo's friends scooped him up and held him high against the wall, higher than their own heads. Bonzo put one hand around his throat, just under his jaw, and pressed back. The others let go. Bean was hanging by his neck, and he couldn't breathe. Reflexively he kicked, struggling to get some purchase with his feet. But long-armed Bonzo was too far away for any of Bean's kicking to land on him.
"The game is one thing," Bonzo said quietly. "The teachers can rig that and give it to their little Wiggin catamite. But there'll come a time when it isn't a game. And when that time comes, it won't be a frozen flash suit that makes it so Wiggin can't move. Comprendes?"
What answer was he hoping for? It was a sure thing Bean couldn't nod or speak.
Bonzo just stood there, smiling maliciously, as Bean struggled.
Everything started turning black around the edges of Bean's vision before Bonzo finally let him drop to the floor. He lay there, coughing and gasping.
What have I done? I goaded Bonzo Madrid. A bully with none of Achilles' subtlety. When Wiggin beats him, Bonzo isn't going to take it. He won't stop with a demonstration, either. His hatred for Wiggin runs deep.
As soon as he could breathe again, Bean headed back to the barracks. Nikolai noticed the marks on his neck at once. "Who was choking you?"
"I don't know," said Bean.
"Don't give me that," said Nikolai. "He was facing you, look at the fingermarks."