I know Courtney’s worried about me. Viola and Travis, too. I don’t know what to say to them because I can’t make sense of it in my own damn head. One minute the gun was pointing at me and the next it was in his mouth, blowing his brains out. His lifeless body lay next to me as I brace myself for the worst. I don’t know what he was thinking, what his thought process was, why he had a gun in the first place, and why he took his own life instead of mine.
The unknown is what’s driving me insane. The unanswered questions. The fear of it happening again. The way I felt the minute I realized he was armed and dangerous. I’d never felt my heart beat that fast or hard before. I was a trained police officer with five years of experience. I excelled at the academy and felt ready for anything.
I was wrong.
Nothing prepares you for what it feels like when you think you’re about to die. Suddenly, everything looks so much clearer and the things you thought that mattered, you now realize were small compared to the bigger picture.
The images fly through my mind, and as much as I try to push them away, they resurface and remind me of it all. Everything happened so fast, but when it replays in my mind, it’s in slow motion. It’s fucking torture.
I think about Tyler and how I’m responsible for him and how I would’ve felt had something happened to him. I think about Logan and how he’s the lead on the investigation and what kinds of information he’ll find on the guy. Even if he does find out details, I’m not sure it’ll ever be enough to feel closure or take away the images that are now burned into my brain.
“Drew?” Courtney grabs my attention back. God, she looks so beautiful. She always is, but I’m noticing everything about her now. The way she drags her top teeth along her bottom lip, the way she scrunches her nose anytime she disagrees with something, and the way she always touches her ear when she’s nervous. She has the cutest quirks, and I love her so fucking much.
“Yes,” I say.
“Yes?” She arches her brow.
“Let’s go to Vegas!” I tell her.
I love seeing her face light up. The way she looks up at me brings warmth back into my soul. I’d do anything to keep that look on her face.
“Are you really sure?”
I tilt her chin and press my lips to hers. “I would go anywhere in the world with you, Court.”
She smiles, and I pull her into my chest, loving the way her arms secure around my waist. I was so close to losing this, and I don’t want to dwell on the what ifs when the person I love most is here right in front of me.
But I could do without the images in my head. For now, though, I’ll keep pushing them out until they’re no longer running through my mind on repeat. A mini-vacation is exactly what we need right now.
The flight is just over an hour long, and we’re landing in Vegas before I know it. Courtney is so excited and looks so happy that it’s contagious. I don’t let what’s happened ruin our time together because if I do, I might self-destruct.
We Uber to the Four Seasons with the sun blazing and the streets busy. It’s almost noon, and we’re both starving, but I can’t wait to get her up to the room.
“This hotel is so gorgeous,” she says as we ride the elevator. A guy in a fitted uniform brings our luggage up on a cart, so we don’t even have to tote them around. I’ve heard great things about this hotel and wanted to take Courtney some place nice for our getaway.
“What do you want to do first?” I ask as I take her hand and lead her off the elevator. We’re on the fifteenth floor, and already I can tell the view is going to be amazing.
“Truthfully, it all feels a little overwhelming. There’s so much to do, and I don’t even know where to start.”
“How about we start with some food?” I smile as we get to our room.
“Yes, definitely some food.”
We walk in, and Courtney’s eyes go wide, taking it all in. Everything is clean and put together perfectly. The large bay windows overlook the city, and I can only imagine how stunning it’ll look at night.
“Holy crap,” Courtney mutters. “I definitely think this place’ll do.”
I pull her back into my chest and cup her face as I kiss her deeply. Being here with her is just what I needed.
A knock at the door interrupts us, and I step away to let the bellboy in with our luggage. Once he sets them down, I hand him a tip, and he’s out in less than two minutes.