“Lennon, please. Let me explain…” He steps toward me, but I step back.
“Hunter, don’t. I should’ve known this was too good to be true. No wonder you suggested we pretend to be married.” I’m letting my anger speak, unable to control my emotions as they fill over.
“Don’t say that,” he barks. “I have been here for you through everything so don’t you dare use that against me.” Hunter closes the gap between us, and this time I let him. “I did that for you and Allie.”
I swallow, nodding because I know he’s being sincere. “You told me to trust you,” I whisper-sob. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
Hunter closes his eyes and shrugs his shoulders. “I honestly don’t know. How do you tell someone that kind of news? Risk your emotional stress during the worst time of your life, tell you when you’re happy and watch you spiral back to those dark days? I was put between a rock and a hard place.”
“Still, I had a right to know,” I bite out, my chest rising and falling as quickly as my heart races.
“You have to believe me, Lennon…” He takes my hands in his, looking so defeated as he speaks. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. There were so many times I thought of telling you, but I didn’t know what it’d do —if it’d set you back or if you’d be mad I said anything at all. I never thought this would be the situation when Brandon told me he was going to propose, and when I found the ring, you definitely weren’t in the mindset to see it.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But that wasn’t your choice to make,” I tell him softly. “My boyfriend died never being able to ask me. He died before I knew he was going to ask me to marry him. And you knew…this whole time!” Tears fall, and when Hunter nods and squeezes his eyes shut, I know it’s because he’s in tears too.
“Lennon, I’m so, so sorry,” he whispers, bringing a hand to my cheek. “This is not how I wanted you to find out or for things to happen between us. I love you, and bringing you more pain is the last thing I ever wanted.”
My bottom lip trembles. This man has changed my life in the best way possible. He stepped aside when I was with his best friend, and when Brandon died, he became my anchor. He’s always had my best interest in mind. Always. I can’t imagine how keeping a secret like this has affected him. I try to put myself in his shoes, and the rational part of my brain knows either option would’ve been a shitty one. Had I known Brandon was going to propose while grieving his death, I would’ve crumpled even more. If he told me during the pregnancy, it might have actually destroyed my heart. My hormones wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Soon after, shit went down with my parents, we made it through the first holidays without Brandon, and then Alison debuted. He’s right. There really wasn’t a safe time to tell me.
I want to hold and console him for being forced to keep this secret, knowing it put him in a bad situation. But I believe him and know it wasn’t held from me out of spite. He was keeping me safe from the pain it would’ve caused and I understand that, as much as it hurts now.
“Please say something, sweetheart.” Hunter drops to his knees, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me. “I can’t lose you, Lennon. I love you and Allie more than my own life, and I’ll never forgive myself if I can’t fix this.”
“That’s how you knew what diamond cut I’d want,” I say softly. “When you bought that one at the airport.”
He nods against my stomach, and my heart lodges into my throat, unable to swallow down my pain. Hunter tilts his head back and gazes into my eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he states confidently. “I know you’re upset with me, and rightfully so, but I’m here, fighting for you, for us. So if it’s space you need, I’ll give it to you if you ask, but know that I’m not giving up.”
My heart pounds so hard in my chest as I think about his words. The love Hunter has for me is so overwhelming and special, and the last thing I want is for this to screw things up. I love him and knowing he kept this from me hurts, but it’s not a deal breaker for me.
Nodding, I bring a hand to his face. “You were protecting me.”
“Yes,” he states. “I felt very protective of you right after he died and have only always wanted to be there for you. Once I found it, I didn’t know what to do…” He closes his eyes for a moment. “But I should’ve told you myself instead of risking you’d find it.”