“That’s awesome,” he whispers, admiring her. “Does she have a name?”
“Alison,” I respond with a proud smile. “Alison Kay Locke.”
“Alison,” he repeats. “From your favorite lullaby.” I’m honestly shocked he remembered that. I only told him once that my favorite cover of “Baby Mine” was from that singer. At this point, though, I really shouldn’t be that surprised because he has the memory of an elephant.
“Yes, and Kay after my mother. She introduced me to music and this song, so even if she doesn’t want to be a part of our lives, Alison will always know where her name originated from.” I can’t hide the sadness in my tone, but I also won’t give her the satisfaction of ruining this moment for me. Whether she came into this world out of wedlock doesn’t matter. She’s perfect and amazing, and I already feel so blessed to be her mom.
“If your mother doesn’t, it’s her loss. Trust me,” Hunter says, meeting my eyes. “Alison’s already changed my life in less than twenty-four hours, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Chapter Seventeen
Hunter
The past two weeks have been interesting. Neither of us have slept very much, and I’ve made it my mission to help Lennon with Alison as much as possible. No matter how many articles or websites I read beforehand, I still don’t feel prepared. Lennon’s told me several times that most new parents have no clue what the hell they’re doing, and they just wing it. I’m learning how true that is every day.
I know this isn’t my baby, but I’ve helped take responsibility. Holding a tiny human is scary but also exhilarating and surreal. The nights are the hardest for Lennon because she’s exhausted, and I’ve been trying to take turns getting up just so she can sleep. We’re navigating our way through this together as best as we can. As long as Alison’s being held, she doesn’t seem to cry. Lennon is a natural at being a mom, and it’s such a beautiful thing to watch. I worry she’s not getting enough sleep or resting, but she insists she is between her yawns. Overall, though, it’s not as intimidating as I thought it would be. I was a little nervous to hold her at first, but I’m nearly at a pro-level now, especially after being a spit-up target a few dozen times.
Still, each time I look at Alison, a wave of guilt and sadness overcomes me. The grief of Brandon no longer being here hits me at the strangest times. Though I find myself thinking back about the stupid things we used to do in college and smiling, it doesn’t hurt any less that he’s no longer here. I really wish he could meet his beautiful baby girl.
Mrs. Locke is over the moon in love with her and has come over several times to help out. I’m glad I get to see his mom more now. It’s nice to have a reason for her to drop by and still be a part of our lives. When she talks about Brandon, I notice she smiles at the memories just like I do. We miss him, but at least he left us a part of himself in his daughter. For that, we’re all grateful.
It’s early evening on New Year’s Eve, and I can’t seem to stop yawning. As I’m standing in the kitchen, making a pot of coffee, Lennon rounds the corner like she’s on a mission.
Without saying a word, she grabs a mug from the cabinet and waits for the maker to beep. After it’s done, she pours it half-full, then fills the rest with creamer. Once it’s perfectly mixed, she takes a sip and hums with a grin. I’ve learned not to get between her and coffee unless I want to lose a ball. Yes, it’s that serious.
She has me laughing. “Baby sleeping?”
“Yep. I snuck out when I smelled the coffee brewing.” She lets out a laugh. “Also, has coffee always tasted so damn good?” She pulls the baby monitor from her back pocket and sets it on the counter even though our apartment is so small we’d hear Alison’s little cries from the farthest corner of any room.
I pour some coffee and let it sit for a minute before daring to drink it. The last time I did that, I burned the fuck out of my mouth. “I think you’re just extra sensitive to the taste because you’ve been off the hard stuff for nine long months.”
Lennon nods and smirks at me. “Probably.” She shugs then continues, “So did you think of your New Year resolution yet?”
Shaking my head, I walk out of the kitchen. For the past week, she’s asked each day what I plan to change in the new year. The only thing that comes to mind is wanting to change our relationship status, but I don’t dare say that. I keep that buried deep inside next to the sounds of her moans as she comes. “Nope. I’m gonna be the same smartass I’ve always been. And I’m not dieting and already work out when I can. So I’m out of ideas. Did you think of yours?”