“I can’t believe they’ve sent so much,” she says with a small pile of clothes in her arms. She’s cleared out the top two drawers of her dresser for the baby.
“Oh my God!” Lennon yells.
“What? What it is?” I panic and stop moving.
She stands as stiff as a board. “Come here. Hurry.”
I rush to her and stand beside her. “Are you okay?”
Lennon grabs my hand and places it on her belly.
“She’s kicking,” Lennon tells me with the sweetest smile on her face.
Right after she says it, I feel a little foot against my palm. My eyes light up. “Wow. That’s amazing.”
I feel it again, even harder this time.
“Keep talking,” she tells me. “I think it’s your voice.”
I drop to my knees so I can be closer to the baby and place both hands on Lennon’s belly. “Hey, little one. Just want to say hello, and we feel you in there. Can’t wait for you to meet your mama. She’s so pretty and nice, and I know you’ve already heard how beautifully she sings.”
The kicking continues, and I look up at Lennon and see tears. I stand, face to face with her, wanting to take her soft cheeks in my palms and kiss the fuck out of her, but I don’t.
“She likes you,” she says, and I wipe the tears away with my thumbs, knowing she has more on her mind.
“Everything okay?”
“I’m just upset Brandon is missing this. The more days that pass, the more he’s turning into a distant memory, and I never want to forget him.”
I nod, understanding but not knowing how to console her. There are days when I wish I could bring him back, so maybe she’d be happy the same way she used to be. Then another part of me wishes I could be the man who makes her smile. Instead, I just try to be there for her as much as I can.
Grabbing her hand, I place it over her heart. “He’s here, Lennon. He’ll always be there.”
She nods and the doorbell rings, pulling us both away. “Hope you’re hungry for that pizza. There’s gonna be so much cheese you’ll be chewing all night.”
Lennon shakes her head at me and lets out a laugh. “You’re an ass.”
“Stop cursing in front of the baby.” I go to the door and give the guy a tip, and the apartment immediately fills with the scent. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until Lennon brings plates to the table, and we begin eating.
“How was work?” she asks, holding the crust so the toppings don’t slide off.
I let out a huff. “Fine. Saw Jenna today.”
Lennon stops chewing and furrows her brows. “Why?”
“Trust me, not by choice.” I explain what happened, and I’m pretty sure I can see her pulse throbbing in her neck. “Doesn’t she know how to take a hint?”
“No,” I say, wanting to change the subject because it’s still touchy. I don’t tell her about the threats she spewed either. The last thing Lennon needs is more stress added to her plate. Whatever Jenna thinks she knows, I’m not going to give into her hissy fit. “I just don’t want her to think she can show up here or anywhere I’m at again. It’s annoying.”
Lennon sighs, and I watch her close up. “Yeah.”
We finish eating in silence, and I think about everything that’s happened over the past few months. We’ve continued to eat together each night, and I’ve tried to keep up with the apartment. Lately, Lennon has been getting fatigued really easily, so I do as much as I possibly can. Several times I’ve wanted to kiss her or bring up how I feel again, but it’s easier for now to pretend I never said anything. I’ve allowed her to take the lead on us because that night, things changed, though she’d deny it if I called her out. I’m pretty sure I’ve been friend-zoned, and that’s okay because I’m not giving up hope. If that’s all I can ever be, I’ll be forced to accept it, though I don’t think she even realizes how she sends me mixed signals all the time.
After we’ve finished eating, I put the remaining pizza in the fridge. Lennon’s phone rings, and when she answers it, I know it’s one of her sisters by how excited she sounds. The further along Lennon gets, the closer they grow, and I love how supportive they both are. Lennon looks over at me, and I whisper that I’m going to take a shower, and she gives me a thumbs-up.
My shoulders are tight, and I stand under the hot water, hoping it relieves some stress. After seeing Jenna today, I’ve been on edge. She’s determined to make my life hell until I can prove I’m not the father of her baby. It’ll be hung over my head until the day he’s born, and I know, just by her threats alone, it’s not the last of her.