Jenna was the wake-up call I needed. It snapped me out of my fairy tale so fast, I might have a concussion from the whiplash.
Hunter and I have nothing more than a solid friendship. Eventually, he’ll find someone who makes him happy, fall in love, and will want to start a family. How could he not? Hunter deserves it all.
Even though he swears Jenna’s baby isn’t his, I don’t understand how he can be so sure. Sometimes the best birth control and protection fail because nothing is one hundred percent. I’m a perfect example of that. But if Hunter wants me to trust him, I’ll try my damnedest to. It’s the least I can do after everything he’s selflessly done for me.
We sit in silence as I try to get a hold of my emotions. Being with Hunter and spending most of our free time together has been different. Months ago, if someone would’ve told me we’d be so close, I would’ve laughed in their face, but he’s quickly become my best friend. I’ve learned things about him I never knew and understand him on a much deeper level. We’ve shared so much of our raw selves with each other, and I can’t help but trust him. He knows every detail about me, the way I feel about certain topics, my insecurities, and down to the names of pets I had as a kid. I keep having to remind myself we’re just friends and that’s all this is. It’s all it can ever be.
As I think about Jenna, another wave of jealousy hits me in full force and then it’s followed by a bolt of guilt. Something unspoken has been simmering between me and Hunter, and neither of us wants to admit it. I sure as hell don’t. I can’t.
I didn’t expect to feel anything when we practiced kissing, but I felt everything. I couldn’t make sense of it. As soon as he poured himself into me, I was left gasping, my body buzzing with something I can’t explain. That wasn’t supposed to happen. I shouldn’t have felt that way. I can’t give those thoughts attention, so I push them away and bury them deep.
My mind wanders back to seeing Jenna at the door with desperation on her face and in her voice. I’m sure she’s scared, and I can only imagine how much strength it took to confront Hunter. I know he rejected her calls for weeks and part of me wonders if that was due to me and how much I needed him. While I don’t like her, I admire her fearlessness. I can’t help but wonder what it will mean if the baby truly is his. There are so many scenarios and unknowns that it almost makes me panic. Will he move out? Will she move in? The selfish part of me doesn’t want to lose him. I’ve already lost so much, and this is another reminder of how alone I really am.
“Everything okay?” Hunter asks as I wipe a rogue tear from my cheek.
I push the thoughts aside and give him a small smile. “Yeah, just nervous about seeing my parents,” I say, trying to cover up my true feelings.
He nods, though I’m not sure he buys it. “I’m actually getting nervous too. Meeting the parents…it’s a big deal.” He waggles his brows, which makes me laugh.
“You’re supposed to be the strong one,” I tease and release a sigh. “But yeah. It’s a big deal, at least in my family.” They hadn’t even met Brandon.
I twist the metal around on my finger. Once again, he was right. Having rings like this will help make our story more believable. I just can’t get over the amount he spent, knowing it will have to be sold later. He’ll never get the price he paid for it. I was shocked he knew what type of ring I’d like, but then again, after sharing so much with him, it shouldn’t surprise me. Sometimes, I think he knows me better than I know myself. All this makes me feel like a burden, and I know he’d argue that I’m not, but I can’t help it. He’s done so much for me, and I feel like I’ll never be able to repay or thank him enough.
The rings feel foreign on my finger, but I can’t stop looking at them. If the circumstances were different, I’d be over the damn moon about having something so gorgeous, but I remind myself it’s pretend. All of this—the rings, the kissing and touching—is nothing more than a façade for the outsiders looking in.
Eventually, the plane lands in Salt Lake City, and we deplane fairly quickly. After we get our luggage, we wait in line for the rental car, which doesn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. I give Hunter the address to my parents’ house so he can plug it into his phone because it’s much easier than directing him. Soon, we’re pulling out of the airport parking lot and heading toward my hometown, Park City. As I glance at the mountains surrounding the city, I realize we’re actually doing this. My nerves kick into overdrive and my legs shake as Hunter drives.