Before it gets awkward and more tense, I excuse myself and go to my room, leaving the ball in her court. This is ultimately her decision, one that she’s going to have to make on her own. I sit on the edge of the bed and scrub my hands over my face, blowing out deep breaths. I feel as if I’ve betrayed my best friend for even suggesting this. Though my intentions are pure, my feelings aren’t. It’ll be torture for me to experience a glimpse of something I can’t have and will never have—Lennon as my wife.
Brandon would want me to take care of her, protect her from harm, and that’s what I’m trying to do, regardless of how it’ll affect me personally. Luckily, her parents are miles away, so keeping up the façade will be easy. At least then she won’t have to lie about not living with someone anymore.
I can still hear them chatting but can’t make out what they’re saying, and a part of me doesn’t want to know anyway. I lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling until my vision blurs. Everything I said in there was the truth, even if the feelings I’ve felt for her all this time are one-sided. I won’t have to do much pretending, so it’d be easy for me to play the fake husband, though showing affection might be awkward at first since I’ve coached myself to keep my distance for so long.
Releasing a deep, conflicted breath, I try to push it all away. Maybe it was a stupid idea after all.
I close my eyes, exhausted from my day at work, and fall asleep with the light on. I’m dreaming about nothing when I think I hear Lennon calling my name. My eyes flutter open, and I’m surprised she’s standing in my room, watching me sleep.
“Hey,” I say, clearing my throat and sitting up on the edge of the bed.
She walks toward me and sits next to me as she bows her head and slumps her shoulders. “My sisters just left.”
I study her, trying to gauge her next words.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted,” she starts.
Before she can continue, I stop her. “Don’t be.”
“I was just shocked.” She nods as if she’s confirming it to herself, then shifts her body slightly so we’re face to face. “But the more I talked it over with them, the more I realized how right you were. It’s actually a brilliant idea, considering how I’m limited on options, and I’m kinda upset with myself that I didn’t think of it first,” she says with a laugh and shoots me a playful grin. “Seriously, though, I think it’ll work.”
“Ahh, it feels good to be right,” I tease, needing to relieve some of the tension in the air.
Lennon giggles, then smacks my arm.
“I know I talked about a fake divorce and all that, but honestly, I think I might be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t see myself ever moving on.”
I shift my body, and our faces are close enough for me to feel her warm breath on my cheek. Right now, all I need is for some distance between us because the way she’s looking at me makes me want to kiss all her worries away. It’s almost as if she wants me to, but I resituate myself, finding the space I desperately need before I cross a line I know I shouldn’t. I know I’m reading into her body language and expressions way more than I should, but at times, it’s hard to remind myself of that when she looks at me with so much sadness and longing.
“You’ll move on when you’re ready, but I promise, you won’t be alone forever. You’re a beautiful woman, Lennon. I’ve always thought that. You’re caring, thoughtful, and compassionate. I know one day you’re going to find someone who’ll love you and your baby. It might not be soon, or even five years from now, but eventually. That I know for certain.” I swallow hard, meaning every word, but also realizing how much they hurt me to say.
Her eyes meet mine, and for a second, I’m lost in them, lost in the sound of her ragged breaths as her lips slightly part. So much emotion and electricity streams between us that I force myself to look away to break the silent conversation we were having.
“You’ll find someone too, Hunter,” she assures, and I’m not sure why there’s a tinge of sadness in her voice when she says that. I want to tell her that I’ve never wanted anyone else other than her—explain that she’s always been the one for me, the woman I think about when I close my eyes—but confessing my truths will only make things tense between us, so I keep it to myself just as I have for the past two years.