Sophie leans forward and speaks barely over a whisper. “Maybe you should think about getting a vibrator? Girl, your hormones are going crazy, and you’re getting zero relief. You went from banging like a rabbit to becoming a nun,” she states, then hurriedly adds, “Obviously not by choice, but still.”
I know my face tells all my secrets as heat rushes through my body. I look around the room, but no one is paying any attention to us.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Oh my God.” Realization hits me. “How many of them do you have?” I ask, imagining her nightstand full of sex toys.
She twists her lips. “I can count them on two hands.”
My eyes go wide in shock. “That means more than five but less than ten. You sex kitten!”
“Hey, a single girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. And you know I’m not about those fuck boys.” She gives me a pointed look, which has me bursting into laughter. Sophie’s so damn modest, I never would’ve thought she’d be all about self-pleasure. Part of me wants to bring up Mason, but I know she’s already on edge with her new roommate situation. “Honestly, though, you’ve been around Hunter so much lately, I’m surprised I’m not having sex dreams about him. He’s hot. Big muscles, tall, looks at you as if he can see inside your soul…” She’s basically salivating at the mouth now, which makes me chuckle at her ridiculousness.
“Shut it.” I snort. “Okay fine, maybe you’re right. I probably do just need some sort of…release. Maybe then the dreams won’t return, and I can go back to looking at him like my friend instead of…” I trail off, thinking about him hovering above me, ready to claim my mouth and body.
Sophie clears her throat. “It must’ve been really good.” Pure amusement fills her tone, but this is way out of my comfort zone.
I frown. “I’d never, Soph. I couldn’t. I feel like I’ve cheated on Brandon by having that dream about Hunter. I wish it wouldn’t have happened, honestly. I don’t want things to change between us, but eventually, it has too, right? He’ll move on and find someone who doesn’t have baggage. And when he does, I’m sure his girlfriend wouldn’t want me hanging around him the way that I am right now, or at least I wouldn’t want that if the positions were reversed. But we’ve become really good friends, and I think my subconscious is just playing tricks on me because I genuinely care about him.”
She finishes eating, then slides her plate away. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere, Lennon.”
“Why does everyone keep making jabs like that? We’re just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be. That’s all we ever can be.” I let out a ragged breath, wondering why that thought brings me sadness. “These fucking hormones,” I whisper, cursing their death.
Sophie drops it and doesn’t say another word about it. We talk about one of her students as she takes me back to my apartment. Before I get out, we exchange a hug, and I promise to call her if I need anything.
After she reverses from the parking spot, she stops and rolls down the window. “I’m ordering you a present. It’ll be on your doorstep in two days.” She shoots me a wink before driving away, and I stand there with my jaw on the ground.
It’s been a little over a month since I found out I was pregnant, and each time my parents FaceTime me, I keep it short, worried my mother will notice I’ve gained ten pounds. The thought of telling them gives me anxiety because I know what their reaction will be. Before we get off the phone, I make sure to stress how much I love them. Mainly because I’ve learned you never know when it’ll be the last time, and because I want them to know they mean a lot to me, regardless if I’m lying to them. If they decide they don’t want anything to do with me or the baby, I may never be able to say those words to them again, and that thought makes me so fucking sad.
Their last call was to confirm I’m still going for the Fourth of July holiday weekend in less than two weeks. They know I’ve been a mess since Brandon’s death and are eager to see me. I haven’t said much or confirmed if I’m going or not, but now that I’m pregnant, I need to be truthful.
I still have the plane tickets. Though I thought about canceling the trip several times, I haven’t. I’ve been thinking about how to break the news about the baby and them being grandparents. Telling them in person is the only logical, respectful choice. One ticket is still in Brandon’s name, and I kept hoping Sophie or Maddie could come with me so I didn’t have to do this alone, but their schedules won’t allow it. I’ll probably have to cancel it soon and go alone.