Lennon pretends to hate how much I take care of her, making sure she’s eating enough for two, drinking water, and not stressing, but I think deep down she appreciates it. She nearly gave me a stroke when I saw her doing yoga last week with her body bent in half. After the panic subsided, she reassured me it was perfectly safe for the baby.
Doesn’t mean I didn’t have to drink a beer after that to calm down.
If I thought Lennon was gorgeous before, seeing her swollen belly grow is beyond anything I ever imagined. She’s glowing, completely stunning, and beautiful. I can’t stop looking at her, watching her, appreciating every inch of her tempting body. Her shirts have grown a tad snug, showing off her breasts. Since her body is changing, she’ll need bigger clothes soon, but she’s being stubborn about it.
There will be more doctor appointments too, which I’ve already reassured her I’d go to. I don’t want her being alone through this, and even though I say it’s for Brandon, I’m not too selfish to admit I want to be there for me too. This kid is going to be in my life, and I want to support Lennon every step of the way. Knowing my best friend is missing one of the greatest moments of his life has my emotions in overdrive.
As I step into the cool shower, I speak to him. Tell him how amazing Lennon has handled everything so far. Tell him how much we both miss him. Lastly, I tell him how sorry I am for kissing his girlfriend. For being in love with his girlfriend.
I can’t say with certainty if Brandon would ever approve of a relationship between Lennon and me, but I’d like to think he’d trust me enough to care for her and their child. I’d never hurt her. Keeping his memory alive is something I vow to always do. I miss him so much sometimes it chokes me alive.
Once I’m in bed, I stare at the ceiling and think about that kiss. Fake or not, it felt every bit real to me. Her breasts pushed into my chest, back arched to deepen it, and then she moaned.
Fucking hell, that moan.
My cock gets hard just thinking about it.
Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I lower my hand into my shorts and stroke my dick. The cold shower did nothing to subside my hard-on, and I relive the way she responded to me. I think about how things have shifted between us, how close we’ve gotten, and how comfortable we are together. Lennon makes me feel safe talking to her about things I keep inside. She’s managed to do something no one else ever has, and I doubt I’ll ever feel this way about anyone else again.
My cock grows harder, my fist squeezing tighter as I increase the pace. Lennon is all I can focus on—her sweet face, luscious tits, contagious laugh. Fuck, she’s the full package. Always has been.
Grunting, I slide my fist over the tip, again and again until I’m coming, hard and fast. I release a harsh breath between gritted teeth, hoping she can’t hear me in the next room, but shit that was intense. I use my shirt to clean myself off, then grab a new one, feeling temporary relief.
Over the past few months, I’ve jerked off as much as I did when I was a teenager, but having Lennon this close to me every single day makes me edgy. I have no desire to go out on the weekends or find someone else. The mere thought of it has me laughing at myself. All those times I teased Brandon for being pussy whipped, and here I am, whipped without the pussy.
Lennon invades every part of me, more than ever before, and after tasting her lips, I’m worried I’ll lose my self-control. Though I can’t. Things can’t escalate, no matter how badly I want it. Lennon needs a friend, someone she can trust and rely on.
Not to mention, I’d forever live with the remorse of betraying my best friend. Though there’s one secret of his I plan to take to the grave. I can’t lie to Lennon, not if I want to stay in her life, but it’s one thing I promised Brandon. He’s no longer here to propose, and I don’t know if knowing would hurt her worse or give her closure. She’s in better spirits from a few weeks ago even though I know she’s still grieving. With that, we’re now going to pretend to be married, so how in the hell do I mention Brandon bought her an engagement ring and was ready to ask her to be his wife on this very trip?
Hell, if I knew, then I’d know what to do with the damn ring that burns a hole in my nightstand.