Cole nodded. “I know. I didn’t mean what I said. I was fucking bitter and twisted and jealous. I was also being influenced by some people who wanted to create a wedge between us. The board was slipping out of my grasp, and I thought I was losing the company. I took that out on you.” He cleared his throat. “And I was angry I wasn’t able to pursue my needs. That I wasn’t free to take what I wanted.”
“You were free. You’re Cole Saxon. Nobody tells you what to do.”
Cole let out a bitter laugh. “Do you understand how much the board pulled my strings? I thought I had everything I wanted. I was CEO. I was in charge but I fucking wasn’t. I was in a prison of my own making. Took me a long time to fight my way free.”
He sighed. “Spent my childhood trying to get the old man’s approval. Then when he died, I spent years trying to gain the board’s. Wasn’t until I woke up and realized I was marrying a woman for business, that my life was a farce, that I did something about it. I had nothing to live for, nothing I desired, everything I cared about was gone. That’s when I gave up my seat on the board and sold my shares.”
“You what?” Joel gaped at him.
He shrugged. “You did it. I should have done it years ago.”
“So, now neither of that bastard’s sons are in the business he spent his life creating.”
“No.” He waited for a stab of guilt. But it never came. Instead there was a feeling of rightness.
“This calls for another drink.”
“I don’t need a drink. I need to know why Julian and Keira are here. What happened to them? What do you mean they’re yours?”
Joel stared at him for a long moment. “I don’t trust you. Can’t trust you. I don’t know you anymore, and there’s a lot of bad blood between us. I get why you hated me—”
“I didn’t, Joel.”
His brother nodded. “That might be so, but it sure as fuck felt like you did. We exchanged some nasty words, brother. You thought I was trying to take them from you.”
“I’m not good at sharing.”
“You can sure as fuck say that again,” Joel commented. “But I never wanted them. You jumped to some nasty conclusions.”
“I know. And now?” He waited, his breath caught in his lungs.
Joel looked thoughtful. “Fact that you’re not threatening me or leaping down my throat with false accusations makes me feel better about giving you some truths. But I won’t tell you everything.”
He had to swallow his protest, but he gave his brother a nod. “All right. That’s fair enough.”
“A reasonable Cole Saxon, never thought I’d see the day.”
He deserved whatever Joel threw at him. He was the one who’d fucked up. He needed to pay penance if he was ever going to form some sort of relationship with the only family he had left.
“They’re not my subs or my lovers. I have a fiancée, two young boys whom I love.”
“Congratulations,” he said quietly.
“Aspen is my world. Same with Jamie and Caleb. They may not be mine by blood, but I claim them.” There was a slight warning in his voice, but Cole just nodded.
“But Julian and Keira are my family too. They live in my guest house. They have my protection. They’re my friends. I take that very seriously, Cole, and I won’t allow anyone to hurt them.”
“I’m not looking to hurt them. I honestly had no idea they were here. I came here to see if, well, to apologize to you.”
Joel nodded. “And now that you know they’re here?”
He shifted in his seat, blowing out his breath. “I’ve had an investigator searching for them.”
A flash of worry passed over Joel’s face. “He couldn’t find them?”
“No. They were well hidden. You did that? Why?”
“That’s something I won’t tell you.”