“A bad man. He chopped off Beau’s finger,” she said fiercely.
“Yeah, he was a bad man. Doesn’t make me a good man, though.”
“I say you are.” He’d done everything he had for family. “And I won’t hear anyone say anything differently.”
“Jesus,” he muttered. “You’re supposed to be disgusted. Horrified.”
“Family first, right? No one messes with the Malones.”
He kissed the top of her head. “No one messes with the Malones, but baby that still doesn’t mean that I—”
She reached up and placed her hand over his mouth, scowling. “I said no one was allowed to say you aren’t a good man and I meant it.”
He shook his head.
“What happened next?” she asked, done with debating this.
“Mateo stepped into his place and we disappeared. I paid a fortune to have our birth certificates all changed so we shared my mother’s last name. Only West, Jaret and I have the same mother. I bought this spread, I’d saved a fuck load of money working for Marceras and I’d invested it wisely. I brought my brothers here. I kept them safe.”
“And your father?”
“I don’t know where he went to. Slunk off somewhere in the middle of the night. Good riddance.”
“Is that why West doesn’t leave the ranch? Is he worried someone will recognize him?”
Alec shook his head. “Mateo covered it up. No one knows it was West except for us and Mateo. And our old life shouldn’t follow us here. I don’t like that Mateo knows but so far he hasn’t used that knowledge against us. I’ve tried to tell West that no one is coming for him. That it looks more suspicious, him hiding out from everyone, personally I think it has more to do wit
h him punishing himself for Lana’s death or some such shit. He was never a people person anyway.”
She snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“I’m not a good person, Mia.” He rolled onto his side to face her. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any sort of happiness. That’s why I tried to keep you at a distance. It wasn’t fair of me. My only excuse is that I was afraid that if you knew the truth, I wouldn’t even have our sessions in the office. But I’ve hurt you and I don’t ever want to hurt you, Mia. I don’t deserve to be loved. But I want it. I want your love. I want it all. But I understand if you can’t love me.”
She stared at him for a long moment. “You love me.”
“I love you.”
“You kept me at a distance because you didn’t think you deserved me.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
She launched herself at him. “If I ever hear you say that again, Alec Malone, I’m going to take a paddle to your ass, because I love you.”
“You love me?” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.
“I love you. And I don’t care who you were in the past. That’s not who you are now. You’re a bit of a jerk at times, utterly bossy at others, but you’re my man. And I say you’re a good man.”
“I’m not, but I’m glad you think so.”
“I know so,” she said fiercely. “No more punishing yourself.”
“No more punishing myself,” he agreed. “No more sleeping in closets.”
She nodded. “All right. No more keeping me and your brothers and everyone else at a distance. You let us love you.”
“I’ll let you love me. My brothers, we’ll see. If I spend too much time with them, I might kill them.”
“You can handle dinners,” she told him. “We’ll go from there.”