She blinked at him.
“Christ, baby doll. I think you’re in shock.”
“I think so too.”
“I’m going to call Hack,” he said urgently.
No. No, she didn’t want to deal with anyone else.
“No. I just. I think I need to just sleep. I feel tired. I need to sleep.”
* * *
Spike paced back and forth in the kitchen. What the fuck should he do?
For over an hour, she’d just sat there, staring into space. He’d called Hack. The asshole had told him just to give her some time to process everything. How much time did she fucking need? He just wanted to hold her. He wanted to make her feel better. To take away her pain.
Fuck, he wished he knew how to do that. To put that spark back into her eyes.
He couldn’t believe that she thought he wanted her to be less. To hide who she was. Fuck, how many people had done that to her? Told her that she was too much as she is? No wonder she’d started locking down any emotions that she thought people might react negatively to.
No more.
A cry came from the living room, he raced in there. Her eyes were shut, a fine sheen of sweat covered her brow. Fuck! Was she too
hot? He placed his hand over her forehead, sighing in relief when her temperature felt normal.
“No, Daria, no!”
Fuck. She was having a nightmare.
“Millie! Millie, wake up!”
He didn’t want to jostle her. She started to thrash around, crying out as she obviously hurt herself. Fuck!
Carefully, he picked her up. He sat on the sofa with her nestled on his lap.
“Millie, wake up! Wake up, baby doll. Daddy needs you to wake up.”
Her eyes shot open and she took in a gasping breath. “Daria . . . oh God, Daria!” She attempted to suck in a breath, panic filling her face. Suddenly, he realized she was having a panic attack.
“Shit! You’re panicking. Breathe in. Slow. Out slow. In. Out.” He reached for her hand, placing it on his chest. “In. Out. That’s it, baby doll. In. Out.”
Her breathing started to slow and panic gradually gave way to despair.
“Spike,” she sobbed.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” He held her as tightly as he dared. “Let it out.”
“I can’t!”
“Baby doll, you have to. You can’t keep it inside you. Let it free, baby doll. There’s just me and you. Give me your pain. I’ll take it all. Give it to me.”
He didn’t think she was going to. Then she turned her face into his chest as a sob broke free. And he held her tight as she lost it.
* * *
She’d never cried so much in her life.