“I…I…” She could feel her heartbeat racing. Nausea bubbled.
“Easy, baby. I’m not angry at you. I’m upset you didn’t tell me, but I’m not angry.”
“You won’t yell at me?” she whispered.
“I’ll never yell at you,” he promised. “Ever. Tell me what’s been going on.”
“You won’t make me leave?”
“Never,” he swore to her. “Tell me.”
“I’m not s-sure what I did to make him h-hate me.”
He leaned forward. “Baby, you could never do anything that would make someone hate you. There is something going on with him. It has nothing to do with you.”
“He never liked me, though. Seemed to resent my presence. I’m not s-sure how he found out that I was…that I had been…”
“Taking food back to your cabin?” he said in a calm voice.
“Y-yes.” She peered up at him to make certain he hadn’t decided to be angry about that, but he just stared calmly back at her.
“How did he give you that bruise on your arm?”
“A few nights ago, that same night you walked me back to my cabin, he pressed me up against a counter, he told me he knew what I had done. I told him to back off. Told him I’d tell you.” Her stomach rolled sickeningly at the memory. Panic threatened to pull her under.
“Take deep breaths, baby. In then out. That’s it. And again. In and out. Can I touch you?”
“Not yet,” she whispered. “I need to get this out first. He…he told me that you wouldn’t believe me over him.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell me? Because you thought I’d believe him over you?”
“I thought you didn’t even like me. Why would you believe me? And besides, I was stealing from you.”
He made a low, rumbling noise of displeasure. “This is my fault. I promised you a safe place to live and I was too busy avoiding you to see what was happening. I should have pressed you to tell me what was going on the other night when you said everything was fine. Damn it, did you really think that I would condone his abuse of you?”
“It wasn’t abuse.”
“Baby girl, I heard you scream. When I came into the kitchen, you were curled up in a protective ball. Like you are right now. And you were absolutely terrified. Ellie told me you’d been having trouble with him.”
“I never told her that!”
“No, but she must have picked up on it. It doesn’t matter that he was my friend, I won’t condone any man hurting a woman on this ranch, including verbally. This should never have happened.”
She couldn’t stand the self-recrimination in his voice. “Clint, this isn’t your fault. I’m the fuck-up. I’m the mess—”
“All right, enough. I’m going to touch you now.” He reached over and pulled her onto his lap before she could even protest. “Hush. This is for me. I need to hold you. I also need you to stop talking about yourself like that. You are not a mess. You had a panic attack. I think it’s entirely understandable with everything that happened. So, you hoard food. We talk about it; we deal with it and we move on. But I won’t sit here while you denigrate yourself. And you don’t have to deal with this on your own. That’s not what you do when you’re in a relationship.”
“You still…you still want a relationship with me?”
Clint hated that she was so upset. That she really thought he would let her go. That she didn’t realize her worth.
“Yes. You are stuck with me. I think I’m going to get that tattooed on you somewhere. Or maybe, property of Daddy. Yeah, that sounds good.”
“So, what are you going to do? Will you spank me?” Instead of looking scared at that, she appeared almost resigned. “Yes, that’s what you’ll do. You need to spank me for stealing.”
“Spank you?” Was she crazy?
“No, it’s the only way. It’s the thing that will make it right. That’s what happens right? I get a spanking and everything is forgiven.”