I moved to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “I know I’ve fucked up a lot in my lifetime, but I swear I’m not going to with this.”
She lifted her gaze from her phone and stared at me for a long moment before nodding. “I know that, Luca. I can see the sincerity in your eyes. But she’s my best friend, and as much as I trust you to take care of her, I can’t stop worrying about her.”
“Yeah, I get that.” Taking a drink of my water, I turned to go back to Violet. At the kitchen door, I paused and glanced back at her. “Shaw?”
“Yeah?”
“I still love her,” I confessed. “I’ve never stopped. But I’m not here to try to win her back. I’m here because she needs me. Maybe one day, when she’s over Remington, I’ll be able to try. But for now, I want you to know I’m not here for myself.”
Before she could reply, I kept walking. Back in Violet’s room, I found her sitting at the end of the bed, stroking Krush’s back as she stared off into space. Her other hand was on her belly, and I could see the baby kicking through the material of her shirt.
Shutting the door behind me, I crossed to the bed and sat beside her. It was only when my shoulder brushed against hers that she seemed to snap out of her own head. As she looked up at me, her chin began to tremble. “I miss him,” she said, touching her hand to her chest. “My heart hurts so bad, Luca.”
Putting an arm around her, I tucked her against me and kissed the top of her head. “I know, babe.”
“What am I supposed to do now?” she asked in a tiny voice. “I know what he told me to do, but how do I do that when it feels like I’m wading through quicksand?”
“You do whatever feels right,” I told her. “Whatever you decide, whatever you need to do, just say the word, and I’ll make it happen. If that means staying in this room until you feel like you can face the world, that’s okay. If it means running away to wherever you think you need to hide, that’s all right too. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here, and I’ll be beside you every step of the way, for as long as you need me.” I pressed my lips to the top of her head again, needing to comfort her—and myself. “So, when you feel like you’re trekking through quicksand, I can lift you out of it and carry you to the other side.”
“P-promise?”
Clenching my eyes shut to hide my tears, I whispered, “I promise you, Vi.”
Chapter 47
Luca
I thought since Remington took care of his own funeral arrangements in advance, getting Violet through the event wouldn’t be too hard. But I was wrong.
From the moment we arrived, she’d been quiet, and I knew it was because she didn’t want her parents to see just how shattered she was. Shaw and I stayed beside her during the whole thing, but at the graveside service, I could tell she was about to drop. She was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the grave with her mother on one side and Shaw on the other as the minister gave the last prayer, but her head wasn’t bowed, and her eyes were glued to the casket as it was slowly lowered into the ground.
I stood behind her, watching as her entire body began to tremble, and I knew it was game over.
As she started to slump forward, I caught her and lifted her into my arms. I held her until the minister finished and then turned and walked toward the waiting limo where Jenner was standing. With her still in my arms, I slid into the back seat, and her head fell listlessly onto my shoulder.
“You have to stop scaring me like that, babe,” I murmured as I kissed her forehead. “I thought you were going to fall into the grave.”
“You should have let me,” she whispered, but her arms tightened around me, and silent tears began to roll down her beautiful face.
We weren’t back at her house ten minutes before her parents and the rest of the family started arriving. I’d seated Violet on the couch in the living room in anticipation of them coming, but I promised myself I wouldn’t let them stay longer than an hour or two before I kicked them out so she could relax.
Thirty minutes after Aunt Emmie’s arrival, a catering company walked through the door and started setting up. I gritted my teeth, knowing she meant well, but Violet needed time to decompress after the stress of the day.
Ready to have it out with Aunt Emmie even though she scared the living hell out of me at times, I stomped into the living room to confront her, only to find Violet was no longer on the couch.
“Where is she?” I asked Shaw, who was having a whispered conversation with Jagger and Mia on the opposite couch.
Shaw frowned then glanced at the spot where Violet had been tucked in with a soft blanket over her lap and a glass of juice earlier. “She said something about needing the bathroom. I didn’t think. I should have gone with her.”
She started to stand, but I stopped her. “I’ll check on her.”
I stuck my head in the two guest bathrooms downstairs but didn’t find her, so I started looking on the second floor. After checking the bedroom she’d been sleeping in the last few nights and still coming up with nothing, my gut clenched with the realization of where she must be.
I heard her sobs before I even got to the closed master bedroom door. The sounds alone ripped me apart, but I swallowed the lump filling my throat and opened the door. As I stepped into the room, I saw Violet on the far side of the bed. She was on her knees as she pressed her face into the mattress, crying so hard her entire body shook from the force.
Closing the door behind me, I ran across the room and tried to lift her.
“No,” she screamed, struggling against me. “I can’t leave him. Don’t make me. Please.”