I made a slow perusal of everything the room held. “There are a few things from my apartment that I’ll miss, but I can make do with this.”
X chuckled. “You’re a lot more blunt when you’re in hacker mode.”
He was right, but I didn’t like how easily he’d seen that. Instead of responding, I seated myself in the chair that faced the largest of the many screens. “How secure is this system?”
X bent over my shoulder, and I wanted to lean into the heat of him. “Look for yourself.”
I clicked a few buttons, bringing up the information I needed, and I couldn’t help but smile. “You followed all the advice I gave you for your home network.”
“When I consult an expert who knows their business, I follow their guidelines. Otherwise I might as well have done all the work myself.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“You’ve proven yourself trustworthy.”
“Are you going to trust me to see what I can find out about Swain’s New Orleans associates?”
“I don’t want you putting yourself or your future at risk.”
“I’ve been at risk in one way or another since my parents died, and I’ve always had to deal with it myself. Now I have you and your team behind me.”
“You were scared last night.”
I looked up at him. “I was. Someone exposed me. That’s never happened before. It shook me up, but now I want to fight. For you.”
This time, my mouth hadn’t jumped ahead of my brain. I’d decided if I was going to push my limits with X, I might as well really go for it.
His eyes widened, though he quickly managed to school his face. “For me?”
“You put your trust in me, and you need help. I’m going to give it to you.”
“I don’t need—”
“You’re not going to bring these men down all by yourself.”
“I could,” he murmured.
“Maybe if you had to, but you don’t.”
It only took me a few moments to familiarize myself with the equipment. Before long, my hands were flying over the keys as I clicked away, seeking information I knew had to be out there.
At first, X’s presence distracted me, but as I fell into the zone, I forgot he was even there.
11
Xavier
I hadn’t even realized I’d set my hands on the back of Emilio’s chair until I looked down and saw them there. I’d taken a few steps back from him when he started to work. I’d even crossed my arms to help me resist the temptation to pull the rubber band from his hair and let the silky black strands fall to his shoulders.
I wanted to run my hands through it, to bury my face in it.
The more he worked, the more mesmerized I became watching his hands move over the keyboard. I didn’t understand a lot of what came up on the screen at first, but eventually he began to pull up Swain’s emails, then his phone records.
“Look.” Emilio tapped the screen where it showed a call from New Orleans and another only an hour later. Both had been placed the day before Swain’s death.
He took a screenshot before digging deeper. It was amazing to watch him in his element. He was beautiful and so fucking good at what he did. My cock was hard as steel against my shorts. I didn’t know how much longer I could watch him without touching him.
How had I thought I could ignore my attraction to him when it was just the two of us there? Why was I even trying?
He’s essentially a client.
I’m not a good bet for a relationship.
What if he doesn’t want one?
He should. He deserved what my teammates had found. I wanted him to be happy, and that couldn’t happen with me. I could only give him a part of myself. And then there was the whole I-thought-I-was-straight thing to be dealt with. There was no question in my mind that I wanted Emilio. My desire for him had only gotten stronger after I kissed him. I’d been absolutely one hundred percent into it. The feel of his cock, his solid chest, everything about his body turned me on, and his mind had me utterly fascinated.
But was this some aberration? A need to experiment that had suddenly arisen? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t stand the thought of fucking him, then realizing he wasn’t for me.
Deep inside I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I couldn’t admit that yet. There’d been so many changes in my life over the last few years. Was I really ready for another one? If I came out as Thomas Carrington, I’d have plenty of support, but I wanted to be in the news less, not more.
Despite all that, I found myself leaning closer to him until I could smell his unique scent, something woodsy and sweet. I drew in a deep breath, and he turned at just that moment. Our faces were so close. All I had to do was lean forward to kiss him again.