So he was there to stay, whether he wanted to or not. And judging by the pointed look Elliot aimed his way when the waitress brought back one more Jägerbomb and two Cokes, Robbie was going to need this hit of alcohol to numb whatever sting of realism Elliot was about to throw at him.
“Look, all relationships are complicated,” Elliot said, looking between Felicity and Robbie. “This one more than most, I would think. But you’re new to this, and you haven’t exactly been with people who…cared before.”
“Uh, ouch,” Robbie said, and quickly threw back the shot to help ease that slap to the face. “Thanks a lot for the reminder, asshole.”
“Sorry, I’m just trying to make a point.”
“Then hurry up and make it.”
“All I’m saying is, if Priest kept something from you, then maybe he had a reason. These two have been super straightforward with you. You told me so yourself. They laid it all out there. If you are with them, you are only with them. And if you’re feeling the way you are, like you might be falling in love? Then maybe they’re feeling the same way and Priest wanted to, I don’t know, protect that for a little bit. Protect you.”
Robbie’s mouth fell open, and as he tried to find his tongue, Felicity said, “Damn, El, you’re pretty wise after a couple of shots.”
Elliot shrugged. “I have my moments.”
“I get what you’re saying, I do,” Robbie said. “And I know you’re right, but it’s just…when we all started this, they were both so adamant that I be honest. That it was the only way we could all be on the same level as each other.”
“And he wasn’t honest about whatever this is?” Felicity asked.
“I mean, he didn’t lie. He just didn’t tell me until he had to,” Robbie said, and thought about the gut punch he’d felt when he’d discovered that Priest wasn’t really…Priest.
“I’m assuming Julien knew whatever it was that you didn’t?” Elliot asked.
“Yes. Why?”
“Ah, okay,” Elliot said, and leaned forward to rest his arms on the table. “I’m going to say something you might not want to hear, but I want you to listen anyway.”
“Okay…” Robbie said, bracing himself.
“This relationship you got into with them…it’s not like—cover your ears, Felicity—the other threesomes you’ve been involved in. They’re married and you’re joining that. It’s bound to be a bit…messy, right?”
“Right,” Robbie said softly. “But it’s not messy because they’re married. I love that.”
“My brother, the traditionalist.” Felicity laughed.
“Traditional is boring, and so not me,” Robbie said. “I love hearing about how they fell in love, their life together. It makes me feel closer to them. It connects me to that part of them.”
“Yes, but I don’t mean all of that,” Elliot said. “This is messy because of the emotions you didn’t realize were going to come up. For the first time, it sounds as though they shared a pretty big secret that you knew nothing about, and when you found out, that hurt your feelings.”
As soon as Elliot said the words, it was as though a light bulb went off, and Robbie realized that yes, that was exactly it. He’d been trying to work out why it had hurt so much to find out this secret of Priest’s.
Julien had shared his demons from the very beginning. He’d told Robbie there were things that he needed to know. But Priest? Priest had kept this huge part of himself hidden. He’d kept it between himself and Julien until he’d had to tell Robbie, and that was what hurt.
“Bianchi?” Elliot said, and waved a hand in front of Robbie’s face. “Bianchi? You okay?”
Robbie nodded slowly. “Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I just realized something when you said that.”
“And?”
“And it helped,” Robbie said, and it really had. But it sure as hell didn’t make him feel any better. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” Felicity said, clearly sensing the shift in her brother’s mood.
“How about I go and get another round?” Elliot said. “And then Felicity can tell us all about Prim and Proper Penny? I still can’t believe she got knocked up.”
Robbie nodded, knowing he should probably stop with the drinks at this stage, but also realized they were likely the only thing making him feel as relaxed as he was after the last twenty-four hours he’d had.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Elliot said. “Then after this, we’ll take you home.”
Robbie nodded absent-mindedly, that fourth Jägerbomb finally hitting as he tried to process how in the world he was going to find the courage to tell Julien and Priest that for the first time in this relationship of theirs, he had felt…left out.
Chapter Eight
CONFESSION
Sometimes a little liquid courage helps us say
exactly what’s on our mind.
IT WAS AMAZING how slow time moved when you were constantly eyeing the clock. But forever seemed like an apt enough description, Julien thought, as he sat curled up in the corner of the couch with his laptop.