Elliot screwed his nose up. “We’re looking at you, Bianchi, and trust us, you look that bad.”
Robbie poked his tongue out. “Gee, thanks, El. Like I don’t already feel wretched enough.”
“Just telling you like it is. Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same. I only wish you’d called sooner. I didn’t realize things were quite this dire.”
“My hair is done. I’m dressed. It’s really not that bad.”
“Your hair is not done, it’s brushed,” Felicity said, and reached out to flick the longer strands that were flopping down in Robbie’s eyes. “Big difference. And you’re wearing an outfit most senior citizens would be comfortable in.”
“Well, you should know, since you’re practically becoming an honorary Golden Girl this week.”
Felicity’s mouth fell open, but then she shrugged and picked up her shot. “You’re right, I totally am. So which one do you think I’d be?”
Robbie and Elliot looked at her and said at the same time, “Blanche.”
Felicity laughed and then tossed back her drink. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t try and act like you two aren’t as slutty as I am.” She paused and then turned to look at Robbie. “Or at least used to be.”
“Yes. That’s right,” Elliot said as he picked up his shot. “We should really raise a glass tonight to mourn the death of our old, slutty sister Roberta, and usher in this latest version sitting with us. Roberta 2.0.” Elliot let out a booming laugh that had several other patrons of the pub turning to look their way. “That fits you perfectly, since it’s two men you snuggle between each night, you lucky little fuck.”
“Yeah, well, if you’re both done,” Robbie drawled, and picked up his drink, “can we get back to me?”
“What were we talking about again?” Felicity said.
“How he’d done something really stupid,” Elliot said.
“Oh, that’s right,” she said, and pushed her long hair behind her ears. “Please, continue. I always love these kinds of stories.”
“Only because you use them against us later,” Robbie said.
“I swear whatever you say will stay right here.” Felicity held her hand up. “Pinkie swear.”
Robbie narrowed his eyes but wrapped his finger around hers and shook on it.
“Okay, now spill.”
Robbie’s shoulders sagged and he let out a huff of air. “I’ve gone and fallen in love with two men.”
“Uh, no shit,” Elliot said. “When anyone looks as miserable as you after only a month living with the person—or people, sorry—he’s dating, it can only mean one of two things.”
Robbie stared at Elliot, waiting for him to continue.
“You either made the biggest mistake of your life or you fell madly in love with them and now realize how fucking complicated that’s actually going to be.”
Robbie blinked several times, dumbstruck by Elliot’s bluntness…and accuracy.
“Tell me I’m wrong.”
Felicity shuffled into Robbie’s side and wrapped an arm around the crook of her brother’s elbow. “No one likes a braggart, Elliot Lawson,” she said, and then stroked her hand over Robbie’s sweater as though she were soothing a skittish animal. “So you’re in love with them. Call me crazy, but isn’t that a good thing?”
“Unless he told them and they don’t feel the same way,” Elliot said. “Or one does and the other doesn’t.”
“No,” Robbie said, his nose scrunching up as he vehemently shook his head. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Good. ’Cause that would be awkward as fuck, all things considered.”
It really would be, Robbie thought. But he was positive he had nothing to worry about on that front. The thought might’ve entered his mind for, like, a split second yesterday. But he’d banished it almost as soon as he’d had it, knowing that Priest never would’ve opened up to him the way he had in L.A. if he hadn’t deeply cared for Robbie. That man didn’t speak unless he was ready to be heard.
“It’s not that. I haven’t actually had that conversation with them yet, but…” Robbie blew out a breath that kicked up his hair. “That’s what’s making me so confused.”
“What is?” Felicity asked, as she angled her head to peer up at him. “You told me after L.A. that everything was better than ever.”
“I know. But yesterday I… I found out something. Something really important that Priest kept from me, and for some reason, I can’t get past it. Ugh.” Robbie flopped back in his seat. “Every time I think that or say it, I get annoyed at myself, because hello, of course there are going to be things I don’t know about them yet. But for some reason, this one hurts…a lot.”
“Robbie, Robbie, Robbie,” Elliot said.
“What?”
Elliot raised his hand to flag down a waitress. “You’re gonna need another shot before you hear what I have to say about all this.”
Robbie frowned at his longtime friend and wondered if there was any way he could just slip out of there before Elliot gave his two cents. But considering the viselike grip Felicity had on his arm, Robbie wouldn’t be going anywhere without causing a scene.