Without saying a word, I grab a trash bag from a nearby table and get to work. From the corner of my eye, I spot Thayer making his way down the path and heading in the direction of The Ainsworth, and then I watch the man I love disappear inside.
Part of me wonders what would happen if we came forward to our families. If they saw us in love, saw how much we cared for each other, they’d have to see that it couldn’t possibly be a bad thing, right?
The other part of me doesn’t want to so much as test the waters in case it backfires in our faces.
I have to take Thayer any way I can get him, and for now, all we have are stolen moments.
It won’t always be this way though.
I’m sure of it.
Chapter 25
Thayer
My grandfather blows out the candles on his cake as the rest of my family sings and claps.
Seventy-five years and he’s still going strong.
My mother grabs the cake knife and Aunt Lorelai grabs the plate and Whitley sticks her finger in the frosting to steal a lick and claim her corner piece.
It’s the first week of August, which means I’ll be leaving in two weeks to go back to school. A year ago this time, I was excited, now all I can think about is the fact that two weeks from now, Lila and I will be separated.
To go from seeing her several times a day and sneaking moments with her and spending hours in the cottage in the middle of the night … to nothing … is a transition I’ve spent all summer trying not to think about, but now that it’s almost here, we’re going to have to figure out where we go from here.
She hasn’t brought it up either, which makes me think we’re in the same boat, swimming in the same denial-and-avoidance-filled waters.
Westley takes a seat beside me at the end of a long table on the back patio. The rest of our family is gathered around the birthday cake, dishing out slices topped with vanilla ice cream.
“Hey,” Westley says.
“Hey.”
“So … I … uh … I saw you and Lila the other night.”
I shoot him a look, like I’m confused and I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“You guys were coming down the path by the old nurse’s cottage,” he says, keeping his voice low and leaning in. “It was late. Maybe midnight or so. I know it was you two.”
Shaking my head, I’m fully prepared to deny, deny, deny, but he continues.
“Dude, you’re playing with fire here,” Westley says. “You know how Granddad feels about this. He’s warned us both a thousand freaking times to stay away from her. He’ll spaz if he finds out.”
Sucking in a long breath, I adjust my posture and grind my teeth.
“How long have you been sneaking around with her?” he asks, like it’s any of his business.
“What were you doing out at midnight the other night?”
He shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep. Went for a walk.”
“You can’t say a word.” I lock eyes with him.
My whole life, Westley’s been like a brother to me. And a shadow. I’m pretty sure he’d kiss the ground I walk on if I asked him to.
He places his hand over his chest. “I promise.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I,” he says.
“Take this to the grave,” I tell him.
“Dude. I get it.”
The two of us glance down to the end of the table and his mom waves at us, asking if we want vanilla or chocolate cake.
“You realize what’s at stake here, right?” Westley asks. “If Granddad catches you, he’ll cut you off. Trust me. I speak from experience.”
A year ago when Westley announced he wouldn’t be going to Yale (because he couldn’t get on their lacrosse team) and would instead be attending a private, hole-in-the-wall college in Eastern Pennsylvania, Granddad wasted no time de-funding his college account. To this day, he still refuses to acknowledge the name of Westley’s college—or that Westley even goes to college.
“I don’t think you realize how much control he has over every single person in our family,” Westley says.
“No, I’m well aware.”
“Then why are you putting your entire future on the line for some girl.”
I shoot him a look. “She’s not some girl.”
He lifts his hands in protest. “All right. Fine. Just be careful.”
“Trust me,” I say. “We’re being careful.”
“What are you going to do when you go back to school in a couple weeks?”
I shrug. “We haven’t talked about that yet.”
“Oh. So it’s nothing serious. You guys are just messing around?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“So it is serious?” He shakes his head. “Thayer … you realize if he’s not cool with it now, he’s not going to be cool with it ever. And you still have a lot of school left …”
“I’m not worried,” I say. Things always have a way of working out.