Driven by the need to have him thinking as fiercely about me, I texted him about my sudden desperate hunger to devour him whole: I'd give anything to be sucking your c**k right now.
Just thinking about how he looked when I took him in my mouth .
the feral sounds he made when he was about to come .
Standing, I deleted the text the moment I saw it'd been delivered, then dropped my phone back in my purse.
Since it was noon, I closed all the windows on my computer and headed out to reception to find Megumi.
"You hungry for anything in particular?" she asked, pushing to her feet and giving me a chance to admire her belted, sleeveless lavender dress.
I coughed because her question came so soon after my text.
"No.
Your choice.
I'm not picky."
We pushed out through the glass doors to reach the elevators.
"I am so ready for the weekend," Megumi said with a groan as she stabbed the call button with an acrylic- tipped finger.
"A day and a half left to go."
"Got something fun planned?" "That remains to be seen."
She sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Blind date," she explained ruefully.
"Ah.
Do you trust the person setting you up?" "My roommate.
I expect the guy will at least be physically attractive, because I know where she sleeps at night and paybacks are a bitch."
I was smiling as an elevator car reached our floor and we stepped inside.
"Well, that ups your odds for a good time."
"Not really, since she found him by going on a blind date with him first.
She swears he's great, just more my type than hers."
"Hmm."
"I know, right?" Megumi shook her head and looked up at the decorative, old-fashioned needle above the car doors that marked the passing floors.
"You'll have to let me know how it goes."
"Oh, yeah.
Wish me luck."
"Absolutely."
We'd just stepped out into the lobby when I felt my purse vibrate beneath my arm.
As we passed through the turnstiles, I dug for my phone and felt my stomach tighten at the sight of Gideon's name.
He was calling, not sexting me back.
"Excuse me," I said to Megumi before answering.
She waved it off nonchalantly.
"Go for it."
"Hey," I greeted him playfully.
"Eva."
I missed a step hearing the way he growled my name.
There was a wealth of promise in the roughness of his voice.
Slowing, I found I was speechless, just from hearing him say my name with that edginess I craved - the sharp bite that told me he wanted to be inside me more than he wanted anything else in the world.
While people flowed around me, entering and exiting the building, I was halted by the weighted silence on my phone.
The unspoken and nearly irresistible demand.
He made no sound at all - I couldn't even hear him breathing - but I felt his hunger.
If I didn't have Megumi waiting patiently for me, I'd be riding an elevator to the top floor to satisfy his unvoiced command to make good on my offer.
The memory of the time I'd sucked him off in his office simmered through me, making my mouth water.
I swallowed.
"Gideon ."
"You wanted my attention - now you have it.
I want to hear you say those words."
I felt my face flush.
"I can't.
Not here.
Let me call you later."
"Step over by the column and out of the way."
Startled, I looked around for him.
Then I remembered that the Caller ID put him in his office.
My gaze lifted, searching for the security cameras.
Immediately, I felt his eyes on me, hot and wanting.
Arousal surged through me, spurred by his desire.
"Hurry along, angel.
Your friend's waiting."
I moved to the column, my breathing fast and audible.
"Now tell me.
Your text made me hard, Eva.
What are you going to do about it?" My hand went to my throat, my gaze sliding helplessly to Megumi, who watched me with raised brows.
I lifted one finger up, asking for another minute, then turned my back to her and whispered, "I want you in my mouth."
"Why? To play with me? To tease me like you're doing now?" There was no heat in his voice, just calm severity.
I knew to pay careful attention when Gideon got serious about sex.
"No."
I lifted my face to the tinted dome in the ceiling that concealed the nearest security camera.
"To make you come.
I love making you come, Gideon."
He exhaled harshly.
"A gift, then."
Only I knew what it meant for Gideon to view a sexual act as a gift.
For him, sex had previously been about pain and degradation or lust and necessity.
Now, with me, it was about pleasure and love.
"Always."
"Good.
Because I treasure you, Eva, and what we have.
Even our driving urge to f**k each other constantly is precious to me, because it matters."
I sagged into the column, admitting to myself that I'd fallen into an old destructive habit - I'd exploited sexual attraction to ease my insecurities.
If Gideon was lusting after me, he couldn't be lusting after anyone else.
How did he always know what was going on in my mind? "Yes," I breathed, closing my eyes.
"It matters."
There'd been a time when I'd turned to sex to feel affection, confusing momentary desire with genuine caring.
Which was why I now insisted on having some sort of friendly framework in place before I went to bed with a man.
I never again wanted to roll out of a lover's bed feeling worthless and dirty.
And I sure as hell didn't want to cheapen what I shared with Gideon just because I was irrationally scared of losing him.
It hit me then that I was off balance.
I had this sick feeling in my gut, like something awful was going to happen.
"You can have what you want after work, angel."
His voice deepened, grew raspier.
"In the meantime, enjoy lunch with your co-worker.
I'll be thinking about you.
And your mouth."
"I love you, Gideon."
It took a couple of deep breaths after I hung up to compose myself enough to join Megumi again.
"I'm sorry about that."
"Everything all right?" "Yes.
Everything's fine."
"Things still hot and heavy with you and Gideon Cross?" She glanced at me with a slight smile.
"Umm ."
Oh yes.
"Yes, that's fine, too."
And I wished desperately that I could talk about it.
I wished I could just open the valve and gush about my overwhelming feelings for him.
How thoughts of him consumed me, how the feel of him beneath my hands drove me wild, how the passion of his tortured soul cut into me like the sharpest blade.
But I couldn't.
Not ever.
He was too visible, too well known.
Private tidbits about his life were worth a small fortune.
I couldn't risk it.
"He sure is," Megumi agreed.
"Damn fine.
Did you know him before you started working here?" "No.
Although I suppose we would have met eventually."
Because of our pasts.
My mother gave generously to many abused children's charities, as did Gideon.
It was inevitable that Gideon and I would've crossed paths at some point.
I wondered what that meeting would have been like - him with a gorgeous brunette on his arm and me with Cary.
Would we have had the same visceral reaction to each other from a distance as we'd had up close in the Crossfire lobby? He'd wanted me the moment he saw me on the street.
"I wondered."
Megumi pushed through the revolving lobby door.
"I read that it was serious between you two," she went on when I joined her outside on the sidewalk.
"So I thought maybe you'd known him before."
"Don't believe everything you read on those gossip blogs."
"So it's not serious?" "I didn't say that."
It was too serious at times.
Painfully, brutally so.
She shook her head.
"God .
listen to me pry.
Sorry.
Gossip is one of my vices.
So are extremely hot men like Gideon Cross.
I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to hook up with a guy whose body screams sex like that.
Tell me he's awesome in bed."
I smiled.
It was good to hang out with another girl.
Not that Cary couldn't also be appreciative of a hot guy, but nothing beat girl talk.
"You won't hear me complaining."
"Lucky bitch."
Bumping shoulders with me to show she was teasing, she said, "How about that roommate of yours? From the photos I saw, he's gorgeous, too.
Is he single? Wanna hook me up?" Turning my head quickly, I hid a wince.
I'd learned the hard way never to set up an acquaintance or friend with Cary.
He was so easy to love, which led to a lot of broken hearts because he couldn't love back the same way.
The moment things started going too well, Cary sabotaged them.
"I don't know if he's single or not.
Things are .
complicated in his life at the moment."
"Well, if the opportunity presents itself, I'm certainly not opposed.
Just sayin'.
You like tacos?" "Love 'em."
"I know a great place a couple blocks up.
Come on."
* * *
Things were going well in my world as Megumi and I headed back from lunch.
Forty minutes of gossip, guy-ogling, and three awesome carne asada tacos later, I was feeling pretty good.
And we were returning to work a little over ten minutes early, which I was glad for since I hadn't been the most punctual employee lately, even though Mark never complained.
The city was thrumming around us, taxis and people surging through the growing heat and humidity as they crammed what they could into the insufficient hours of the day.
I people- watched shamelessly, my eyes skimming over everyone and everything.
Men in business suits walked alongside women in flowing skirts and flip-flops.
Ladies in haute couture and five-hundred-dollar shoes teetered past steaming hot dog vendor carts and shouting hawkers.
The eclectic mix of New York was heaven to me, stirring an excitement that made me feel more vibrant here than anyplace else I'd ever lived.
We were stopped by a traffic light directly across from the Crossfire, and my gaze was immediately drawn to the black Bentley sitting in front of it.
Gideon must've just gotten back from lunch.
I couldn't help but think about him sitting in his car on the day we'd met, watching me as I took in the imposing beauty of his Crossfire Building.
It made me tingly just thinking about it - Suddenly, I went cold.
Because a striking brunette breezed out of the revolving doors just then and paused, giving me a good, long look at her - Gideon's ideal, whether he'd been aware of it or not.
A woman I'd witnessed him fixate on the moment he'd seen her in the Waldorf Astoria ballroom.
A woman whose poise and hold over Gideon brought out all my worst insecurities.
Corinne Giroux looked like a breath of fresh air in a cream-colored sheath dress and cherry red heels.
She ran a hand over her waist-length dark hair, which wasn't quite as sleek as it'd appeared last night when I'd met her.