“Where are your kids?”
“With my mom. Her assistant handles the night cleanup so she can spend time with them. She loves them with all her heart and they love her. Adopting them was the best thing I ever did.”
Taking a bite of her hamburger, Emma savored every flavor dancing over her tongue. “Were you forgiven for forgetting to tell them goodbye this morning?”
Letting out a chuckle, Juan shook his head. “Jason reamed me out. Who would’ve thought a fifteen-year-old could make you feel like so much shit?”
“I hear teenagers are good at that.”
A part of her heart ached at the thought that she would never know Billy at fifteen. She’d only been a mother for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. It had been a rewarding experience. A little piece of her was envious of Juan. He had four children. Maybe they weren’t his by birth, but they were his by love.
Hooking his thumb behind his belt buckle and leaning back on the bench, Juan wore a guilty expression. “The kid was pissed. All I could do was stand there and take it because he was right. He even had the decency to wait until the little ones were napping this afternoon and then he let me have it. Both barrels. Not holding back one bit. I know he was Jenni’s stepson, but I swear I saw her fire in him.”
“So what did you say?” Emma asked.
“I admitted I was an asshole, begged for forgiveness, and promised to never do it again. And I meant it. Jason was definitely right. I should’ve told him. Maybe the young ones didn’t need to know, but as the oldest he certainly did. He’s a tough kid and he deserves my respect. My mom said when I took on this role that it wasn’t going to be easy, and she was definitely right. But I love those kids. I will do right by them in the future.”
She couldn’t help but think of her own parents abandoning her. “Honestly, that puts you ahead of a lot of asshole parents. The fact that you are willing to listen to your kids and do what needs to be done to give them assurance says a lot. I know you’re new at the job, but you are a great dad for being willing to learn.”
“Thanks, Em,” Juan replied somberly. “I may have bitten off more than I can chew with Jason, but that kid is pretty awesome. I’ll do my best to be a good father to him.”
“That’s why you will be a good father.”
“Still, man, that hurt.”
Emma ate a few more bites of the hamburger and the overly salty fries. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in a Whataburger, but she doubted that meal had tasted this good. Juan sat beside her in silence, observing the first stars appearing overhead. She got the impression he wanted to talk to her about something, but he nervously scratched the back of his neck.
When she was down to her last fry, he twisted his body toward her so he could face her. She mentally steeled herself for what might come next and shoved a fry into her mouth.
“Emma, I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just babble incoherently until you tell me to shut up.”
Chewing slowly, Emma nodded.
“My cousin was right earlier. I was trying to fix the past by saving Belinda. I knew I couldn’t, but the compulsion was so strong. It took over me, made me stupid, and I almost got you killed. That’s been bugging the shit out of me all day.”
“You apologized. I forgave you.”
“Yeah, but I almost got you killed because I was desperate to somehow prove myself.”
“To Belinda?”
Juan shook his head.
“To Jenni?”
“No, no. To myself. Monica was right. I wanted to save Belinda to prove to myself that I could’ve saved Jenni if I had been there and not laid up with a gunshot wound. Instead, I proved what a dumb shit I am because I couldn’t see that what I have right now is what’s important.”
“Your kids.”
“Yeah, my kids. My friends. Travis and Katie’s beautiful baby that will call me Uncle One, ‘cause you know the baby will hear my kids calling me Daddy One. The damn dog and his smelly ass farts.” Juan’s green eyes flicked away from her face. “A chance to get to know you.”
Emma deliberately took another bite.
“We don’t know each other well yet, but I feel like we should…uh…maybe…uh…date.”
Swallowing, Emma croaked out, “Date?”
“Yeah. That thing normal people do to figure out if they like each other enough to do…more.”