Pressing a hand to her chest, Emma tried to even out her breathing. She hated having anxiety attacks. It was so ridiculous to have one now that she was in a safe place. “It’s such a fucked up world.”
“Bad things were always happening, but we were usually safe from the worst of it here in the States. I spent most my time worrying about making sure my son had a good home, food, clothes, a solid education, learned his manners, understood the obstacles that were going to affect him because he was black, and have the ambition to achieve all his dreams in spite of them. When I saw that first zombie, all those fears were replaced with something so much more primal. My sole purpose became his survival. And then that little girl bit him and...” Macy pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Does it get easier, Emma?”
“No,” Emma answered honestly. “The pain doesn’t go away. You just learn to live with it. Now I’m trying to figure out how to let all of this-” she waved at their surroundings “-into my life.”
“I doubt you can ever fill the empty spot where your son once lived.”
“No, we can’t. Maybe we can fill in the area around it, but I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out.”
Macy took Emma’s hand in hers and squeezed it gently. “Me too. But thank you for convincing me to try. You’re right. Every life is precious. Including our own.”
Without pride, and almost as a confession, Emma said, “I nearly died today, but I saved three people.”
“Did you? See! People need you, Emma. You got the skills to bring us home safely.”
That brought a wide smile to Emma’s face. “Thank you for saying that. That’s the role I’ve chosen for myself here. I plan to save everyone I can.”
“That’s a good role to have. As for me, I’m still sorting out how I can help around here. Yolanda is giving me a few days to get my head together, which I definitely need. In the interim, I’m going to spend time with my nephew. I didn’t realize how much Lewis needed me. He’s a grown man, but he’s got a tender spirit.”
As if on cue, the skinny young man emerged from the hotel, looking around in a desperate way.
“Speaking of Lewis, I best let him know I’m okay. I suspect he’s halfway convinced I’ll disappear over the wall.” Glancing at Emma and noticing her questioning look, she added, “I won’t. I’m here to stay.”
“I’m glad, Macy.”
“Me too, Emma.”
Emma watched Macy walk away then lowered her head into her hands. Beneath her fingers, she could feel her pulse in her temples thudding harder than normal.
With the workday over, the Fort was at peace for a little while. The sounds of the big Texas flag in front of city hall flapping in the wind and the grackles calling out to each other as the sunlight started to wane were soothing. The breeze was warm, but pushed away the heat of the day.
The scuff of a heel pulled Emma out of her reverie. Looking up through her long tresses falling over her face, she saw Katie laying a wildflower bouquet at the base of the memorial. It was her first good look at the woman the Fort occupants revered. Her shoulder length blonde hair was wavy with a slight curl at the end and it framed a face with Nordic features. Tall and slender-limbed, she had the aura of someone who had their shit together. The plaid button down shirt she wore tented over her post-pregnancy bump and hung over her hips. Instead of wearing jeans and boots like most of the Fort inhabitants, she wore compression leggings and chucks.
Katie turned her gaze in Emma’s direction, catching her in the act of looking her over. Her eyes were a much brighter shade of green than Juan’s and she had a slight tilt at the corners of her eyes.
“Hi, Emma,” Katie said in a warm voice.
For some reason, Emma’s throat tightened and it took her a second to answer. “Hello, Katie.”
“Mind if I sit down? I’m a little wiped out.”
“Of course! Sit down, I mean. I don’t mind.”
Settling down beside Emma, Katie exhaled with relief. “No one tells you how damn painful it is after you have a kid.”
“It sucks,” Emma said, commiserating. “I remember it well.”
“I’m definitely going to give it some time before having a brother or sister for Bryce.”
“I don’t blame you one bit.” Emma sat up straighter, pushing her hair back over her shoulders. “By the way, Bryce is a great name.”
“Thank you. I named her after my dad. His name was Bruce.” Katie’s gaze returned to the memorial. “Sadly, I don’t have a picture of him.”
Unsure of what to say, Emma remained silent. Her panic attack was subsiding, the rough waves of emotion ebbing away and gradually calming. Katie had a comforting and eerily familiar presence. It was as if Emma had met her previously, but had forgotten the exact time and location. But that wasn’t possible, so maybe Jenni had imparted more to Emma in the dream than she’d realized.
A long, but comfortable silence stretched between them. Katie leaned slightly forward, her fingers reverently brushing Jenni’s picture.
“Rune told me,” Katie said. “Before he left.”