He nods, and his expression is so very serious. "What is your word, then?"
My heart flutters with hope. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Dagesh—"
"If I do not do this," my mate says, "I will not make you happy. More than anything, I want my mate to be happy. So we will do this." He pauses. "Do I get a word, too? In case it is too much for me?"
My heart feels like it's cracking in my chest. I sit up and cup his face in my hands, kissing him. "You can absolutely have a word, babe. I think that's a wonderful idea."
He kisses me back, nipping lightly at my mouth. "I worry I will not be good at this."
"We can try. That's all I ask." I press my lips to his hungrily. "Trying is more than I ever hoped for."
Big hands roam over my body and then settle on my hair. "What is your word?" Dagesh asks in a soft, serious voice that sends shivers up my spine. "Tell me so I can begin."
I think for a moment, though it's hard to concentrate when he's touching me, when I'm getting turned on just by the thought that we're about to actually give this a try. His hand is in my hair and I'm waiting for him to give it a firm tug. Not a yank, but a nice, hard tug to let me know he's the boss. A word. A safe word. In the past, my word was “bicycle,” but he won't know what that is, and it's important to me that I'm not talking around him. "It has to be something we wouldn't bring up in bed. How about 'Earth'?"
Dagesh nods solemnly. "I will remember."
"What's your word, then?"
He considers. "Mine is 'Pashov.'"
I giggle in surprise. "What?"
He shrugs, and a hint of a smile curves his beautiful mouth. "I do not wish to think of him when I am in the furs with you."
I giggle even harder, because, well, there's no reason a safe word can't be someone else's name. It just strikes me as incredibly funny, though, and I keep laughing. Maybe it's the tension of the day, but when Dagesh pulls me into his arms, I slide a hand to the back of his neck, chuckling, and snuggle close. In this moment in time, I'm intensely, utterly happy.
Dagesh's big hand slides into my hair again, and then he grips it tight.
I suck in a breath.
"How do we begin?" he asks, voice soft, and my head is pinned in place.
I bite back a whimper of arousal. "That…that's a pretty good start."
He tilts his head, studying my reaction. "And you will tell me if I am too rough? Or not rough enough?"
I try to nod, but my head remains locked in his grasp. I'm powerless, and the feeling of it makes me shudder with need. "Yes, Dagesh."
He continues to watch me with hooded eyes, as if assessing my reaction. He reaches under the tunic and cups my pussy—and I'm utterly drenched. My big alien mate growls with pleasure. "This pleases you?"
"Fuck, yes," I breathe. This is what I've wanted all along.
Dagesh leans in and skims his lips along my jaw. He holds me tightly in place, my head tilted so I can't see his expression. I feel teeth, though—he grazes them over my skin and I moan.
"Can I bite you?" he asks, voice low and husky.
Okay, talking about rough sex might be almost as fun as actual rough sex. Just the fact that he's asking is making me wild. "Please."
He bites down on my neck, at the slope where my shoulder meets, and he bites down hard. I suck in a shocked breath, startled at how powerful his bite was…and how much heat it sent through me. I whimper in distress, and he stiffens against me, lifting his head. "Too hard?"
"I didn't use my word," I pant.
Dagesh mulls this. "No, you did not." His hand tightens in my hair and then he bites down on my neck again, teeth grazing hard against my throat. I gasp, and he licks at the spot he bit, his tongue moving in lazy circles over my stinging skin. He lifts his head, considering. "I am marking you."
"I don't care."
My mate studies me. "You like biting. What other things do you like?"
"Do what you want with me," I tell him.
"This is not about what I want. It is about what you want," he reminds me.
Somehow hearing that doesn't make me happy. He makes it sound like it's all me, like he's servicing me. Like he's only tolerating it because he knows I need it. "But I need you to want it, too, Dagesh." When he doesn't respond, I push at his chest. "Maybe this was a mistake—"
His big hand tightens harder in my hair. He bites me on the throat again, his teeth digging in. He bears me down to the furs, one big hand roaming over my body as I'm pinned under him. "I am not going to lose you," he growls against my skin. He shoves the tunic up around my waist, then pushes my legs apart.