“Hello?” No one says anything, so I repeat myself. “Hello? It’s Daniel. Hello?”
If it is a telemarketer, they’ve probably never heard a guy sound so desperate to talk to one of them before.
A man clears his throat, and then says, “Hi. Daniel Wesley?”
I’m pacing the front yard, gripping the back of my neck. “Yes. Who is this?”
“I’m...well. I’m your child’s father.”
I stop pacing. In fact, I bend over at the waist when I hear those words. I feel like my stomach just fell onto the ground. I feel like I’m about to fall to the ground.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Don’t say anything stupid, Daniel. Don’t screw this up.
“Do you have a second to chat?” the guy asks.
I nod frantically. “Yes. Yes, of course.” I walk to the front patio and take a seat. I can barely feel my legs. “Thank you for calling, sir. Thank you so much. Can I just ask how he’s doing? Is he good? Healthy? Is he happy?”
I should probably get Six for this conversation. I feel awful being feet away from her and she has no idea that I’m on the phone with a man who knows where our son is. But I’m worried there’s a chance he’s not calling with good news, so I stay seated until I can find out more information.
“He’s…” The man is hesitant. He pauses for a moment. “Listen, Daniel. I don’t know you. And I don’t know my son’s biological mother. But I know my wife, and she has been through hell. The last thing I want to do is bring stress or pain back into her life, because she’s in such a good place right now. I need to know what your intentions are before I tell her you’ve reached out. Before I decide to share anything with you. I hope you understand that.”
“She doesn’t know you’re talking to me right now?”
“No. She doesn’t. And I haven’t decided if I’m even going to tell her about this conversation yet.”
Yet.
I cling to that word. That word means this phone call is the one deciding factor in whether or not Six and I will know what happened to our child.
Yeah, no pressure or anything. Christ.
I think about what Hannah said. Be persistent.
“Okay. Well. My name is Daniel. I’m nineteen. My girlfriend, Six...she’s the biological mother. And…” I stand up again, feeling the pressure of this entire conversation and just how much is riding on my shoulders right now. “Sorry. I just need a minute.”
The man says, “It’s okay. Take all the time you need.”
I blow out a calming breath. I look at the house and into the window of the kitchen. Six is in there, oblivious to what’s going on out here. Oblivious to the fact that I’m speaking to a man who knows where her child is.
Our child.
But honestly...her child. The baby she grew and carried for nine months. The burden she still carries.
I know he’s my son, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I was talking to this man and feeling this nervous because of how I feel about a child I’ve never met. I’m not doing this for him. I’m confident Six made the right choice.
Everything I’m doing, I’m doing for Six. And I don’t want to let her down. She needs this more than anyone has ever needed anything. And sadly, the future of her happiness is in my hands. My tiny, tiny hands.
I blow out a calming breath, hoping I can be as candid as I need to be with this guy.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask him.
“Go ahead.”
“Why did you adopt him? Can you and your wife not have children?”
The man is silent for a moment. “No. We can’t. We tried for several years, and then my wife had a hysterectomy.”
I can hear in his voice how hard it was just for him to say, much less live through it. It makes me think his wife has been through the same kind of pain Six has been through. “Would you have stayed married to her no matter what? If you adopted a baby or not?”
“Of course,” the man says. “She’s the love of my life. But this child means the world to us, so if you’re thinking about trying to—”
“Just hear me out,” I say. “Six is the love of my life. I know I’m only nineteen, but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And seeing her sad is just... It’s unbearable, man. It’s fucking unbearable. She just needs to know he’s okay. She needs to know she made the right decision. And I’d be lying to you if I said I need this too, because I don’t. Not as much as her. I just want her to be whole again. This broke her. And until she knows her little boy is happy and healthy, I don’t know that she’ll ever heal. So yeah, I guess that’s all I’m asking for. I want to see her happy, and right now, you and your wife are literally the only people in the world who can give her that.”