“To all of us,” Trees called once he’d sat, holding his beer up in a toast. “It’s not always a merry season when you don’t have your family and you find yourself alone.”
Zy squeezed Tessa’s hand under the table, and she tried not to think about the fact that this was her first holiday without Daddy, without any hope of ever spending another Christmas in her childhood home, or even without any plans.
Across the table, Madison sniffed back tears that were a lot like her own. Tessa didn’t know who or what Madison had lost, but her heart went out to the woman.
“So…a Christmas wish,” Trees continued. “May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.”
Zy and Trees exchanged a weighty glance, and Tessa saw a wealth of meaning there. They’d known each other a long time and been through more than a few trials. Maybe she’d ask Zy about them someday.
But now was for celebrating. And they had a lovely dinner, full of laughter and tequila. Trees hadn’t cooked, which was a good thing, according to the others. Madison’s enchiladas were amazing, as were the tamales her grandmother had cooked. It should have been a really awkward meal, but Tessa actually liked the other woman. And once Zy saw that she wasn’t uncomfortable, he loosened up and had fun, too.
After they’d demolished dinner, Hallie woke and wanted some chow, so while Tessa carried her to the living room and fed her little one, Zy and Trees did the dishes.
Madison sat beside her, smiling and cooing. “She’s gorgeous.”
“Thanks. I feel really blessed. She’s such a good baby.”
“Can I feed her?”
“Sure.” Tessa wouldn’t mind a break, even if it was just for a moment.
When she stood and glanced over her shoulder, she caught Zy watching her with warmth and wanting in his impossibly blue eyes. An answering gong of need echoed in her belly. She tried to look away…and she couldn’t.
Being too near him was a dangerous game for so many reasons. Still, she didn’t want to stop playing.
“It’s going to take me a few minutes to start the coffeepot and dish up dessert,” Trees said. “Why don’t you relax for a few minutes, maybe check out the stars. They’re exceptional tonight.”
Tessa headed for the kitchen. “No. Let me help you.”
“I’ve got it. Seriously.” Trees smiled. “Go.”
“But I—”
“He’s got it.” Zy took hold of her arm and dragged her out of the kitchen.
“Seriously. You should see the stars,” Madison seconded as she spooned more of the jarred chicken noodle casserole in Hallie’s waiting mouth. “Trees showed me earlier. They’re amazing.”
“Then we don’t want to miss out.” Zy took her hand and led her to the back door. “Good idea.”
No, it was a horrible idea. Terrible in every way. But Tessa couldn’t resist the opportunity to spend a few moments alone with Zy, to take a breath she shared only with him.
“You two okay?” she asked Madison.
The woman’s smile brightened. “We’re great. I’m really enjoying this. Thanks.”
Madison looked like she couldn’t wait to be a mom, and Tessa hoped she found the right man soon. “Thank you.”
“Let’s go.” Zy flung the back door open and led her down a couple of steps and into the yard, curling his arm around her waist and bringing her closer to ward off the December chill.
“You didn’t bring a coat.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You’re already shivering.” He cuddled her closer and tucked her as deep into his oversized jacket as he could. “Come here. Santa will keep you warm, baby.”
She smiled.
As soon as she curled against him and wrapped an arm around his back, his warmth enveloped her. Or maybe that was just being near him, because he always made her hot.
By unspoken agreement, they looked up at the night sky. Trees and Madison were right. Out in the country, away from the city lights, the stars twinkled and gleamed like diamonds nestled in a blanket of blue-black velvet perfection.
“Breathtaking.”
“It is.”
One star captured Tessa’s attention because it outshined the others. She pointed. “What’s that? Do you know?”
“Nope. Trees could tell you. He has a telescope and even knows what he’s talking about. Unfortunately, I know nothing.”
She laughed. “Me, either. And I even took an astronomy class once.”
“That puts you ahead of me. All I did was tune Trees out when he’d go on about some constellation or another.” Zy fell quiet. “I’m sorry about Madison.”
“It’s okay. She’s nice. I can see why you…” Tessa didn’t want to finish that sentence. She didn’t even want to think about Zy being with any other woman. And it was ridiculous. Unless she found another job, they’d probably never be together. And shouldn’t she be focused on her daughter, anyway? “Maybe you two should try again.”
He turned her to face him, no longer making any pretense of stargazing. “I don’t want Madison. I don’t think I ever did. I barely know her. Coming off a long stint in the desert, I just wanted sex. It wouldn’t be fair to use her again like that.”